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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 209321" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Thanks all. He's seemingly very remorseful right now- not by any words but by the look on his face. He's making salads for our dinner now since I just put a casserole in the oven. Besides the obvious wrong message that I don't want to send, I would never forgive myself if he grew up and abused his wife or kids. On one good note, he did say he was sorry and that he couldn't help it and that he had a problem with his temper that he didn't know how to control. This is all good if help can be found quickly and he actually takes steps to change.</p><p></p><p>There is just always that fine line between standing behind your child and helping them work through things and enabling them so they keep right on making the same mistakes over and over, Know what I mean?? I <em>think</em> I finally have a good counselor on board for him. I didn't know it at first, but it turns out that this therapist conducted the group therapy at the psychiatric hospital when difficult child was in for a week this past spring. They recognized each other immediately and difficult child told me later that he wanted to talk to this therapist because out of all the tdocs we'd seen, this is the only one that listened and understood and "all the kids knew right away that the therapist just got it". So, I scheduled weekly appts for difficult child for the next five weeks.</p><p></p><p>Since family therapy doesn't work so well with us, I spoke with this therapist alone first and I do think he gets the point and then I asked if there was a female therapist in his office that I could see individually and he gave me 2 options. The plan is for me to sign releases for those two so they can communicate and get a better picture of things. This should keep difficult child's therapist informed about everything he needs to know while protecting difficult child's personal issues at home from the PO.</p><p></p><p>Medicaid- well of course, this is a private therapist that doesn't accept medicaid. I know I might be able to find another, but it has taken 2 years and 10 mos to find ONE that difficult child and I both feel like actually listens and understands before deciding what therapuetic route to take.</p><p></p><p>I had been thinking about seeing if the judge might talk to him a few mins- outside the courtroom. She said the last time he went to court that he could stop by anytime and say "hi" but that she didn't want to ever see him in her courtroom again. He's on probation until the PO recommends to the judge that he come off but he has a suspended sentence that will last until he's 21. I'd appreciate others' thoughts on this idea....??</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 209321, member: 3699"] Thanks all. He's seemingly very remorseful right now- not by any words but by the look on his face. He's making salads for our dinner now since I just put a casserole in the oven. Besides the obvious wrong message that I don't want to send, I would never forgive myself if he grew up and abused his wife or kids. On one good note, he did say he was sorry and that he couldn't help it and that he had a problem with his temper that he didn't know how to control. This is all good if help can be found quickly and he actually takes steps to change. There is just always that fine line between standing behind your child and helping them work through things and enabling them so they keep right on making the same mistakes over and over, Know what I mean?? I [I]think[/I] I finally have a good counselor on board for him. I didn't know it at first, but it turns out that this therapist conducted the group therapy at the psychiatric hospital when difficult child was in for a week this past spring. They recognized each other immediately and difficult child told me later that he wanted to talk to this therapist because out of all the tdocs we'd seen, this is the only one that listened and understood and "all the kids knew right away that the therapist just got it". So, I scheduled weekly appts for difficult child for the next five weeks. Since family therapy doesn't work so well with us, I spoke with this therapist alone first and I do think he gets the point and then I asked if there was a female therapist in his office that I could see individually and he gave me 2 options. The plan is for me to sign releases for those two so they can communicate and get a better picture of things. This should keep difficult child's therapist informed about everything he needs to know while protecting difficult child's personal issues at home from the PO. Medicaid- well of course, this is a private therapist that doesn't accept medicaid. I know I might be able to find another, but it has taken 2 years and 10 mos to find ONE that difficult child and I both feel like actually listens and understands before deciding what therapuetic route to take. I had been thinking about seeing if the judge might talk to him a few mins- outside the courtroom. She said the last time he went to court that he could stop by anytime and say "hi" but that she didn't want to ever see him in her courtroom again. He's on probation until the PO recommends to the judge that he come off but he has a suspended sentence that will last until he's 21. I'd appreciate others' thoughts on this idea....?? [/QUOTE]
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