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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 247927" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>klmno - you have 4 short (very short - trust me) years to get difficult child pointed in the right direction. Bowing out of his life right now is not going to get him the help he needs - it will simply give every professional in his life an excuse ("oh, well mom was not involved/a mess/whatever") to *not* do what they're supposed to be doing.</p><p> </p><p>I know you're tired hon. I know it's a wicked long road and you are dealing with some major roadblocks, PO especially. You can (and will, I'm sure) find it in you to deal with these latest requirements. Get the evaluation they've ordered. Cooperate. At the same time, do what you need to do to keep roof over your and difficult child's head. I know - much easier said than done, but you are nothing if not a true warrior mom.</p><p> </p><p>I feel how weary you are. You know, though, if you are not there advocating for difficult child, no one else will. No one. </p><p> </p><p>In practical terms, I hope you're keeping a log of calls you make, when, for how long. Calls not returned. If not, start now. Go out and buy a keyed lockbox to put knives and other sharps in, just in case the judge decides you have to jump through the in-home services hoop yet again. Buy another one for medications and cigs and any other substances (cleaners, alcohol, whatever) you have in your house. Put the keys on a chain and wear it around your neck. </p><p> </p><p>I wouldn't sweat the psychiatric evaluation of you - if you are crazy <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> you at the very least present very well. But you know you're not, you know you're a good mom. I would think at worst they might come up with- a depression diagnosis for you and gee... I think we all fit the DSM criteria for situational depression when we're dealing with- out of control difficult children. That in and of itself is not going to count against you. They have no reason to remove difficult child from your custody - it's not going to happen, hon. </p><p> </p><p>in my humble opinion - it's trial by fire and you're in the thick of it. If they can find a reason to discount your input, they will. But realistically, there isn't one, is there? Jump through their hoops, protect yourself in the meantime, *document* every doggone thing you do in terms of complying with their requests, and get documentation from the resources recommending Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and make sure they're solid. And hang tough.</p><p> </p><p>You have a recommendation for Residential Treatment Center (RTC) from a psychiatrist, you have funding from Medicaid. I really don't understand how things work in VA but it does seem backwards for the county team (none of whom are MDs) to override that recommendation. Hopefully GAL will hear what is being said but I think if there is anyway to get *yourself* an advocate, you really ought to.</p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry, klmno - sometimes it's ridiculous the way things are done. You know that the only chance difficult child has to learn to live with his disability is with you right there in his corner.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 247927, member: 8"] klmno - you have 4 short (very short - trust me) years to get difficult child pointed in the right direction. Bowing out of his life right now is not going to get him the help he needs - it will simply give every professional in his life an excuse ("oh, well mom was not involved/a mess/whatever") to *not* do what they're supposed to be doing. I know you're tired hon. I know it's a wicked long road and you are dealing with some major roadblocks, PO especially. You can (and will, I'm sure) find it in you to deal with these latest requirements. Get the evaluation they've ordered. Cooperate. At the same time, do what you need to do to keep roof over your and difficult child's head. I know - much easier said than done, but you are nothing if not a true warrior mom. I feel how weary you are. You know, though, if you are not there advocating for difficult child, no one else will. No one. In practical terms, I hope you're keeping a log of calls you make, when, for how long. Calls not returned. If not, start now. Go out and buy a keyed lockbox to put knives and other sharps in, just in case the judge decides you have to jump through the in-home services hoop yet again. Buy another one for medications and cigs and any other substances (cleaners, alcohol, whatever) you have in your house. Put the keys on a chain and wear it around your neck. I wouldn't sweat the psychiatric evaluation of you - if you are crazy ;) you at the very least present very well. But you know you're not, you know you're a good mom. I would think at worst they might come up with- a depression diagnosis for you and gee... I think we all fit the DSM criteria for situational depression when we're dealing with- out of control difficult children. That in and of itself is not going to count against you. They have no reason to remove difficult child from your custody - it's not going to happen, hon. in my humble opinion - it's trial by fire and you're in the thick of it. If they can find a reason to discount your input, they will. But realistically, there isn't one, is there? Jump through their hoops, protect yourself in the meantime, *document* every doggone thing you do in terms of complying with their requests, and get documentation from the resources recommending Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and make sure they're solid. And hang tough. You have a recommendation for Residential Treatment Center (RTC) from a psychiatrist, you have funding from Medicaid. I really don't understand how things work in VA but it does seem backwards for the county team (none of whom are MDs) to override that recommendation. Hopefully GAL will hear what is being said but I think if there is anyway to get *yourself* an advocate, you really ought to. I'm sorry, klmno - sometimes it's ridiculous the way things are done. You know that the only chance difficult child has to learn to live with his disability is with you right there in his corner. [/QUOTE]
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