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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 248083" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p><em>The CA spoke to me and I answered but didn't walk over to join their little "group". She said "no, come over here" and I did, then CA walked away and defnse attny and GAL were just talking to me about county meeting and gffg and that they would get with me later to discuss some more about difficult child- like I was his best advocate.</em></p><p> </p><p>This is <strong>great</strong> feedback, klmno. You cannot get into their heads, or guess whether they are talking about you or not. But you <strong>can</strong> hear what they say directly to you, and in this case, they invited you to join "their little group." And they acted as though you are difficult child's best advocate.</p><p> </p><p>It is NOT "their little group." It should not be them against you. Try a paradigm shift.</p><p> </p><p>I've been through situations like this. I have to completely come out of myself and turn into someone else. I was raised in Minn. I behave like a laid back Midwesterner, with-a touch of silliness because of my art and writing. I can also be withdrawn and isolated.</p><p>But when I am faced with-a situation like this, I have to turn into a New Yorker. Not mean, not pushy, just very, very assertive. When I visit my cousin in NY, I am in first gear the entire time. It's exhilarating and empowering. </p><p>It's also exhausting. I could never live there.</p><p> </p><p>In a sense, we're all "living there," where ever "there" is. It is a place and personality we would not normally choose. But we've got to be there. Then we can step back into our own personalities, do what we need to do to regroup, and start all over again.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe, instead of thinking that it's messing with-your mind, convince yourself that you ARE his best advocate, and that the reason these people are not completely in line with-your thinking is not because they are against you, it is simply because they are who they are. </p><p> </p><p>First off, they are working for the govn't. No offense to govn't workers, but there are certain rules they follow and a there is a certain mindset that is very different from the private sector. That is a fact. They are operating within financial limitations and legal limitations that are beyond their control.</p><p> </p><p>Second, they have been trained to think and do certain things and it's going to be very hard to undo any of that. Unless you're a judge and have power. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> </p><p> </p><p>Third, they can provide feedback to one another on a constant basis, and you have no one in person to bounce things off of. I see in your notes that you are single, alone, and isolated. You have us, but it's not the same thing as verbal feedback, eye contact, shuffling feet, half-filled coffee cups and the immediacy of human contact.</p><p> </p><p>Get some sleep. Take a nap today. (I'm going to try, lord knows!) It is way too hard to function on 3 cylinders.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 248083, member: 3419"] [I]The CA spoke to me and I answered but didn't walk over to join their little "group". She said "no, come over here" and I did, then CA walked away and defnse attny and GAL were just talking to me about county meeting and gffg and that they would get with me later to discuss some more about difficult child- like I was his best advocate.[/I] This is [B]great[/B] feedback, klmno. You cannot get into their heads, or guess whether they are talking about you or not. But you [B]can[/B] hear what they say directly to you, and in this case, they invited you to join "their little group." And they acted as though you are difficult child's best advocate. It is NOT "their little group." It should not be them against you. Try a paradigm shift. I've been through situations like this. I have to completely come out of myself and turn into someone else. I was raised in Minn. I behave like a laid back Midwesterner, with-a touch of silliness because of my art and writing. I can also be withdrawn and isolated. But when I am faced with-a situation like this, I have to turn into a New Yorker. Not mean, not pushy, just very, very assertive. When I visit my cousin in NY, I am in first gear the entire time. It's exhilarating and empowering. It's also exhausting. I could never live there. In a sense, we're all "living there," where ever "there" is. It is a place and personality we would not normally choose. But we've got to be there. Then we can step back into our own personalities, do what we need to do to regroup, and start all over again. Maybe, instead of thinking that it's messing with-your mind, convince yourself that you ARE his best advocate, and that the reason these people are not completely in line with-your thinking is not because they are against you, it is simply because they are who they are. First off, they are working for the govn't. No offense to govn't workers, but there are certain rules they follow and a there is a certain mindset that is very different from the private sector. That is a fact. They are operating within financial limitations and legal limitations that are beyond their control. Second, they have been trained to think and do certain things and it's going to be very hard to undo any of that. Unless you're a judge and have power. ;) Third, they can provide feedback to one another on a constant basis, and you have no one in person to bounce things off of. I see in your notes that you are single, alone, and isolated. You have us, but it's not the same thing as verbal feedback, eye contact, shuffling feet, half-filled coffee cups and the immediacy of human contact. Get some sleep. Take a nap today. (I'm going to try, lord knows!) It is way too hard to function on 3 cylinders. [/QUOTE]
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