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Rough night
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 419607" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am so very sorry that you and your children have to endure this. To put it bluntly, your husband's behavior isn't just setting a bad example. He is inflicting trauma on all of you. You AND the children need to feel safe in your home. Period. That is a basic human right, or it should be. in my opinion it really does not matter what the diagnosis is for your children. As long as they feel scared and are being traumatized by this sort of behavior there is NO chance that they can change their behavior. They, and you, are about 120% likely to have major PTSD from your husband's actions. Until this is addressed you can see all the docs you want, all the tdocs and have all the medications in the world. But the kids will still be terrified all the time and they won't be able to use the tools that they are being given in therapy, from docs and from medications.</p><p> </p><p>Get your stuff together and take the kids and leave today. If you need help or a place to go, call the local domestic violence hotline. They WILL help you with a place to stay, a restraining order, therapy (usually free whether you stay in their shelter or not) and help figuring everything out.</p><p> </p><p>Your husband seems about a hair's breadth away from taking the violence out of the screaming realm and into the beating realm. The kids do not need that trauma on top of what they already have. Neither do you.</p><p> </p><p>I know, firsthand, how scary this is. If husband is home you all wonder every minute if what you are doing or not doing is going to set him off. You worry about if this is the time he is going to start hitting or if he is going to end up putting you or one of the kids in the hospital. When he isn't home you are anxious because you don't know if he is about to walk in the door and what he will do when he does walk in.</p><p> </p><p>You and the boys deserve MUCH better. Whatever their problems are, however they behave, they still don't deserve this. </p><p> </p><p>PLEASE call the hotline today and get whatever you MUST get and leave as soon as possible. You can likely order some documents like birth certificates, etc... after you are ogne if you cannot find them very soon.</p><p> </p><p>Your family is in my prayers for safe passage out of this dangerous situation/relationship and for a healthy new life very soon. Please post as close to daily as possible until you are out and safe so that we know you are relatively okay.</p><p> </p><p>When you are getting ready to leave and in the process of leaving is the most dangerous time in a relationship. Because of this, if husband is home when you go to leave, sneak away or go into the bathroom and call for a police officer to come and be there to keep the peace as you are leaving. If you toss him out, have a cop there at that time. HAve your cell phone in your pocket at ALL times.</p><p> </p><p>((((((((((hugs for you and the boys))))))))))</p><p> </p><p>I do wonder what he does when you are not home and he is alone with the boys. They may not tell you if he is hurting them because he may threaten to hurt you if they tell or he may convince them it is what they deserve and you know about it and aare okay with it. Either way, if you are going to be there for a week or more then you need to get the boys into counseling ASAP. If either child has a teacher that they really like and can talk to, let them know it is normal to be angry iwth your dad or mom or anyone else if they hurt you. Also let them know that it is OKAY to call 911 if their dad is being verbally abusive or physically violent with them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 419607, member: 1233"] I am so very sorry that you and your children have to endure this. To put it bluntly, your husband's behavior isn't just setting a bad example. He is inflicting trauma on all of you. You AND the children need to feel safe in your home. Period. That is a basic human right, or it should be. in my opinion it really does not matter what the diagnosis is for your children. As long as they feel scared and are being traumatized by this sort of behavior there is NO chance that they can change their behavior. They, and you, are about 120% likely to have major PTSD from your husband's actions. Until this is addressed you can see all the docs you want, all the tdocs and have all the medications in the world. But the kids will still be terrified all the time and they won't be able to use the tools that they are being given in therapy, from docs and from medications. Get your stuff together and take the kids and leave today. If you need help or a place to go, call the local domestic violence hotline. They WILL help you with a place to stay, a restraining order, therapy (usually free whether you stay in their shelter or not) and help figuring everything out. Your husband seems about a hair's breadth away from taking the violence out of the screaming realm and into the beating realm. The kids do not need that trauma on top of what they already have. Neither do you. I know, firsthand, how scary this is. If husband is home you all wonder every minute if what you are doing or not doing is going to set him off. You worry about if this is the time he is going to start hitting or if he is going to end up putting you or one of the kids in the hospital. When he isn't home you are anxious because you don't know if he is about to walk in the door and what he will do when he does walk in. You and the boys deserve MUCH better. Whatever their problems are, however they behave, they still don't deserve this. PLEASE call the hotline today and get whatever you MUST get and leave as soon as possible. You can likely order some documents like birth certificates, etc... after you are ogne if you cannot find them very soon. Your family is in my prayers for safe passage out of this dangerous situation/relationship and for a healthy new life very soon. Please post as close to daily as possible until you are out and safe so that we know you are relatively okay. When you are getting ready to leave and in the process of leaving is the most dangerous time in a relationship. Because of this, if husband is home when you go to leave, sneak away or go into the bathroom and call for a police officer to come and be there to keep the peace as you are leaving. If you toss him out, have a cop there at that time. HAve your cell phone in your pocket at ALL times. ((((((((((hugs for you and the boys)))))))))) I do wonder what he does when you are not home and he is alone with the boys. They may not tell you if he is hurting them because he may threaten to hurt you if they tell or he may convince them it is what they deserve and you know about it and aare okay with it. Either way, if you are going to be there for a week or more then you need to get the boys into counseling ASAP. If either child has a teacher that they really like and can talk to, let them know it is normal to be angry iwth your dad or mom or anyone else if they hurt you. Also let them know that it is OKAY to call 911 if their dad is being verbally abusive or physically violent with them. [/QUOTE]
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