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Rough weekend for difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 404650" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>I do agree with Janet that parents are drawn in too easily at times, however, since difficult child was sorry for what happened and it was a physical fight with possible real injuries (based on what difficult child reported), assisting <em><u>him</u></em> in finding the other kid right away to make sure he was o.k. and to extend an apology was the right thing to do. No need to get involved. Just ask if difficult child could talk to their boy, stand back and watch as the boys make amends. I would think because the other family was not home that everything was o.k. (or they may have come looking for you). If he was really hurt and the parents thought it time to step in, they would have contacted you.</p><p> </p><p>When something like this happens with difficult child, I do encourage him to follow through with the apology. That is also a character building trait. As long as you are not demanding he apologize and he is asking to, take the moment to let him do so. The sooner the better.</p><p> </p><p>I have mixed feelings about the best friend's mom. On the one hand it could be looked at as "tattling" and I know I would be a little tiffed myself if I have to hear about every tiff my son has. On the other hand, I do want to be able to address some of the behaviors from time to time to guide my son through these situations and to keep in touch how he is handling life's hard moments. Just once in awhile - not all the time!</p><p> </p><p>I don't think kids have a lot of very strong role models on how to handle their anger, disappointments, ect. They don't see older kids doing the right thing. I don't think they have "heros" that they strive to be like. So, I think it is o.k. from time to time to discuss these type of things with them. Talk about their options and then let them decide the next step. As long as you are not telling them what to do and discussing both the "right" and "wrong" thing to do. It will also teach them how to problem solve - that it is o.k. to think things through before acting.</p><p> </p><p>I hope things get better for him this week and he has a great time next weekend!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 404650, member: 5096"] I do agree with Janet that parents are drawn in too easily at times, however, since difficult child was sorry for what happened and it was a physical fight with possible real injuries (based on what difficult child reported), assisting [I][U]him[/U][/I] in finding the other kid right away to make sure he was o.k. and to extend an apology was the right thing to do. No need to get involved. Just ask if difficult child could talk to their boy, stand back and watch as the boys make amends. I would think because the other family was not home that everything was o.k. (or they may have come looking for you). If he was really hurt and the parents thought it time to step in, they would have contacted you. When something like this happens with difficult child, I do encourage him to follow through with the apology. That is also a character building trait. As long as you are not demanding he apologize and he is asking to, take the moment to let him do so. The sooner the better. I have mixed feelings about the best friend's mom. On the one hand it could be looked at as "tattling" and I know I would be a little tiffed myself if I have to hear about every tiff my son has. On the other hand, I do want to be able to address some of the behaviors from time to time to guide my son through these situations and to keep in touch how he is handling life's hard moments. Just once in awhile - not all the time! I don't think kids have a lot of very strong role models on how to handle their anger, disappointments, ect. They don't see older kids doing the right thing. I don't think they have "heros" that they strive to be like. So, I think it is o.k. from time to time to discuss these type of things with them. Talk about their options and then let them decide the next step. As long as you are not telling them what to do and discussing both the "right" and "wrong" thing to do. It will also teach them how to problem solve - that it is o.k. to think things through before acting. I hope things get better for him this week and he has a great time next weekend! [/QUOTE]
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