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Parent Emeritus
Round and Round we go....where we stop nobody knows....
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 753073" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>I am really sorry for your grief. But don't you think it's fair that you move and stop looking out for an adult who does nothing but abuse you and cares nothing about his welfare unless you take care of him, like a child? How is that good for you? How does that help HIM? Every single time you let him abuse you and come back for more he is learning that abuse reaps NO consequences and that he can treat anyone that way? He must be at least 30 by now. That is how long I have my abusive, lazy daughter to grow up....or be on her own. No matter how bad it got and it is BAD. She and her worthless husband has been evicted and are squatting for now. My grandson is there and we are going to take her to court for neglect, which we have evidence of. My other daughter wants to raise her nephew and she has the means and I'd an awesome mom. Kay will feel picked on and alienated but it has been over a decade and the child comes first.</p><p></p><p>My husband and I are semi retiring and moving toibv a vacation house. She hopefully won't have the address. </p><p></p><p>Enough is enough. Husband has illnesses. I do. We also have two wonderful kids who DO care that we are healthy and alive. Kay doesn't care if we are healthy or alive. Harsh but she has told us to drop dead so she can collect her inheritance.</p><p></p><p>We have spent so much of our money on her to try to save her that we left her $5000 only. She will blow it in a day. We bought her a house, a mobile home, three cars, clothing, furniture, and much more while not doing that for our other two because poor Kay needed these things and had special needs and my others did not. My two other kids forgive us, thank God.</p><p></p><p>If we care more about a child's welfare than the child does, nothing will change. </p><p></p><p>On the very up side you can make your own life better. Go for therapy. This has been invaluable for us. Go to Al Anon. It has really helped us when we were at our worst. Lean into God, if you have God, church is amazing, your other family and friends are still there, throw yourself into the things that you love....hobbies, interests, keep busy.</p><p></p><p>Your son Will survive the way he always has only he can't abuse you or take your money. If he is going to change he is better off without you as a crutch. Will he change,? I would be tickled if Kay changed. I don't think her mindset allows good changes. I no longer think about it. God can help her. I can't and she won't.</p><p></p><p>I hope you never ever think you are bothering us. Keep coming.</p><p></p><p>As then</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 753073, member: 23706"] I am really sorry for your grief. But don't you think it's fair that you move and stop looking out for an adult who does nothing but abuse you and cares nothing about his welfare unless you take care of him, like a child? How is that good for you? How does that help HIM? Every single time you let him abuse you and come back for more he is learning that abuse reaps NO consequences and that he can treat anyone that way? He must be at least 30 by now. That is how long I have my abusive, lazy daughter to grow up....or be on her own. No matter how bad it got and it is BAD. She and her worthless husband has been evicted and are squatting for now. My grandson is there and we are going to take her to court for neglect, which we have evidence of. My other daughter wants to raise her nephew and she has the means and I'd an awesome mom. Kay will feel picked on and alienated but it has been over a decade and the child comes first. My husband and I are semi retiring and moving toibv a vacation house. She hopefully won't have the address. Enough is enough. Husband has illnesses. I do. We also have two wonderful kids who DO care that we are healthy and alive. Kay doesn't care if we are healthy or alive. Harsh but she has told us to drop dead so she can collect her inheritance. We have spent so much of our money on her to try to save her that we left her $5000 only. She will blow it in a day. We bought her a house, a mobile home, three cars, clothing, furniture, and much more while not doing that for our other two because poor Kay needed these things and had special needs and my others did not. My two other kids forgive us, thank God. If we care more about a child's welfare than the child does, nothing will change. On the very up side you can make your own life better. Go for therapy. This has been invaluable for us. Go to Al Anon. It has really helped us when we were at our worst. Lean into God, if you have God, church is amazing, your other family and friends are still there, throw yourself into the things that you love....hobbies, interests, keep busy. Your son Will survive the way he always has only he can't abuse you or take your money. If he is going to change he is better off without you as a crutch. Will he change,? I would be tickled if Kay changed. I don't think her mindset allows good changes. I no longer think about it. God can help her. I can't and she won't. I hope you never ever think you are bothering us. Keep coming. As then [/QUOTE]
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