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Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 160677" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>(((((BBK)))))</p><p> </p><p>Basically, I found diversion was the best way to get mine out of brat mode. It didn't work every time but did more often than not. No matter what, I refused to get into a power struggle. I was bigger, stronger, smarter, meaner and tougher. I would ultimately win but I didn't like the bullying involved in winning.</p><p> </p><p>I learned that by first acknowledging her disappointment (and mine) and reiterating why we couldn't do it helped a little. There was no logic that was going to convince Tink that not going to the pool was a good idea, no matter how bad she had felt the night before. So, skip the logic, just acknowledge that she feels bad about not going and do whatever you had planned to do. </p><p> </p><p>If you can, try to find a positive diversion -- watching a favorite movie or going to the movies if it was too hot to stay home instead of swimming. Once there had been an acknowledgement and an offer of something else, my mouth would stay shut if she continued on. I would absolutely refuse to say another word if mine kept harping about whatever it is she wanted to do.</p><p> </p><p>Another trick that would sometimes work is to start taking out the baking items (silently). Nothing like the idea of fixing something yummy to make her forget about going to the park or the pool at least for a little while. </p><p> </p><p>If that didn't work, it became a very negative diversion. I'd go into her playroom (her room was bare because of safety issues when she raged) and start picking up anything out of place. She knew that if I picked it up it would be headed for Goodwill the next day, so, she'd be so busy racing to clean up her messes, that the initial issue would frequently be forgotten. She also knew that if she became violent or started raging when this was happening, there was no chance to save her things.</p><p> </p><p>I did learn to not say "no" whenever possible. For something like the pool, which really is okay but for the sunburns the day before, I'd make a disappointed face and say something like, "Well, I was planning on us doing X (something special and fun like, um, baking) today. I love you too much to risk you getting sick like you did last night, so we need to stay indoors today. So, I was thinking we watch a movie or play dress up. Which would you like to do?"</p><p> </p><p>The going inside to Mickey D's is a big thing to most kids. I really don't think it's the food for them so much as playing in the "playground," looking at all the people, etc. I used to use the Mickey D and BK playgrounds as a bribe to get mine unfocussed about something else. That really did work like a charm every time.</p><p> </p><p>You do have my sincere sympathies. Sometimes nothing you can do will stop the truly bratty behavior. They'll badger, tantrum, scream, argue, bargain. Mine would push and push and then push some more. I found the best thing I could do was just ignore her, even when she was badgering me in my room. Mine would rage a little harder when I refused to get into the "game," but it ended a lot quicker than if I got caught up in the power play and I didn't feel like a bully when it was all over.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 160677, member: 3626"] (((((BBK))))) Basically, I found diversion was the best way to get mine out of brat mode. It didn't work every time but did more often than not. No matter what, I refused to get into a power struggle. I was bigger, stronger, smarter, meaner and tougher. I would ultimately win but I didn't like the bullying involved in winning. I learned that by first acknowledging her disappointment (and mine) and reiterating why we couldn't do it helped a little. There was no logic that was going to convince Tink that not going to the pool was a good idea, no matter how bad she had felt the night before. So, skip the logic, just acknowledge that she feels bad about not going and do whatever you had planned to do. If you can, try to find a positive diversion -- watching a favorite movie or going to the movies if it was too hot to stay home instead of swimming. Once there had been an acknowledgement and an offer of something else, my mouth would stay shut if she continued on. I would absolutely refuse to say another word if mine kept harping about whatever it is she wanted to do. Another trick that would sometimes work is to start taking out the baking items (silently). Nothing like the idea of fixing something yummy to make her forget about going to the park or the pool at least for a little while. If that didn't work, it became a very negative diversion. I'd go into her playroom (her room was bare because of safety issues when she raged) and start picking up anything out of place. She knew that if I picked it up it would be headed for Goodwill the next day, so, she'd be so busy racing to clean up her messes, that the initial issue would frequently be forgotten. She also knew that if she became violent or started raging when this was happening, there was no chance to save her things. I did learn to not say "no" whenever possible. For something like the pool, which really is okay but for the sunburns the day before, I'd make a disappointed face and say something like, "Well, I was planning on us doing X (something special and fun like, um, baking) today. I love you too much to risk you getting sick like you did last night, so we need to stay indoors today. So, I was thinking we watch a movie or play dress up. Which would you like to do?" The going inside to Mickey D's is a big thing to most kids. I really don't think it's the food for them so much as playing in the "playground," looking at all the people, etc. I used to use the Mickey D and BK playgrounds as a bribe to get mine unfocussed about something else. That really did work like a charm every time. You do have my sincere sympathies. Sometimes nothing you can do will stop the truly bratty behavior. They'll badger, tantrum, scream, argue, bargain. Mine would push and push and then push some more. I found the best thing I could do was just ignore her, even when she was badgering me in my room. Mine would rage a little harder when I refused to get into the "game," but it ended a lot quicker than if I got caught up in the power play and I didn't feel like a bully when it was all over. [/QUOTE]
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