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Substance Abuse
Sad but God's plan
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 752875" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>I am sorry for you and will send prayers.</p><p></p><p>If your marriage is in trouble, as ours once was, maybe see if your husband is willing to go to marriage counseling. This saved our marriage, which had gone south largely because we had been fighting over Kay. If your job is stressing you out, maybe a therapist just for you. You don't need to.stay depressed. I know your son is not helping.</p><p></p><p>You and your husband can decide if it is advantageous to bring him home. You don't have to say yes....or no. But it is always good for a marriage if both partners are on the same page. I know these kids can rip us apart, but it doesn't have to happen. They can affect every aspect of our lives. It is our decision how to handle this.</p><p></p><p>When Kay started interfering in everything I did, I joined Al Anon and got therapy and luckily for me my husband followed. I know that some men don't like to get help. Maybe yours will if you do. I recommend trying.</p><p></p><p>It is obviously sad when we don't see our kids for years.I haven't reached years yet, but it will happen. I tell myself that as long as Kay is high on drugs this is not the real Kay anyway so maybe it doesn't matter. Perhaps this is not your real son either. Years of drug use, pot included according to my therapist who sees addicts as patients, changes the brain. So who are they? They are often strangers to us.</p><p></p><p> My daughter brings only chaos to the table, so we are going to do the holidays without reaching out to her. She would not come anyway and when she used to, she acted up each holiday at least once in front of the entire embarrassed family. Not fun. Stressful.</p><p></p><p>I hope you come to some peace and make good joint decisions that benefit all of you. It may not be best even for your son to come home only to create havoc. That is not healthy behavior for him. That is not the grandson that your parents want to see. Maybe it would cause them bad stress.</p><p></p><p>None of this is easy. Talk to God. Let him have this. My heart hurts for you. May the sun shine soon.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 752875, member: 23706"] I am sorry for you and will send prayers. If your marriage is in trouble, as ours once was, maybe see if your husband is willing to go to marriage counseling. This saved our marriage, which had gone south largely because we had been fighting over Kay. If your job is stressing you out, maybe a therapist just for you. You don't need to.stay depressed. I know your son is not helping. You and your husband can decide if it is advantageous to bring him home. You don't have to say yes....or no. But it is always good for a marriage if both partners are on the same page. I know these kids can rip us apart, but it doesn't have to happen. They can affect every aspect of our lives. It is our decision how to handle this. When Kay started interfering in everything I did, I joined Al Anon and got therapy and luckily for me my husband followed. I know that some men don't like to get help. Maybe yours will if you do. I recommend trying. It is obviously sad when we don't see our kids for years.I haven't reached years yet, but it will happen. I tell myself that as long as Kay is high on drugs this is not the real Kay anyway so maybe it doesn't matter. Perhaps this is not your real son either. Years of drug use, pot included according to my therapist who sees addicts as patients, changes the brain. So who are they? They are often strangers to us. My daughter brings only chaos to the table, so we are going to do the holidays without reaching out to her. She would not come anyway and when she used to, she acted up each holiday at least once in front of the entire embarrassed family. Not fun. Stressful. I hope you come to some peace and make good joint decisions that benefit all of you. It may not be best even for your son to come home only to create havoc. That is not healthy behavior for him. That is not the grandson that your parents want to see. Maybe it would cause them bad stress. None of this is easy. Talk to God. Let him have this. My heart hurts for you. May the sun shine soon. [/QUOTE]
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