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Sad day vent
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<blockquote data-quote="zba189" data-source="post: 383594"><p>Your first two paragraphs really hit home for me. You expressed much better than I could how I have felt these last few days with my difficult child. I know my difficult child is much younger than yours and I know I'm just headed down the path. I feel bad because honestly at this point even when there are small glimpse of goodnesss, I struggle to see them because I'm either waiting for the next issue or I've fallen too far down the hole due to the last issue.</p><p></p><p>What I'm hoping will work for me is to be honest with myself. Too often, I've felt guilty about what I sometimes feel about my difficult child but part of having a different normalcy is having different feelings for my difficult child than I do for my PCs. That doesn't mean that I don't love him, I just feel different for him than my easier to raise kids. I have also decided that I can't do it without some therapy for myself, that was hard for me to admit but there is no shame in needing some help. Heck, I want difficult child to be able to talk someone and listen to what advice they give him so I better be willing to do the same for myself.</p><p></p><p>It's so much easier to give the advice, "take care of yourself" to someone than it is to do it for yourself but it's important. All I can really say to you is I'm sorry. I'm sorry that life with your difficult child is not all what you pictured it should or could be. I'm sorry that you've done your best and that isn't enough but be proud of yourself for doing your best because in the end that will hopefully bring you some comfort.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="zba189, post: 383594"] Your first two paragraphs really hit home for me. You expressed much better than I could how I have felt these last few days with my difficult child. I know my difficult child is much younger than yours and I know I'm just headed down the path. I feel bad because honestly at this point even when there are small glimpse of goodnesss, I struggle to see them because I'm either waiting for the next issue or I've fallen too far down the hole due to the last issue. What I'm hoping will work for me is to be honest with myself. Too often, I've felt guilty about what I sometimes feel about my difficult child but part of having a different normalcy is having different feelings for my difficult child than I do for my PCs. That doesn't mean that I don't love him, I just feel different for him than my easier to raise kids. I have also decided that I can't do it without some therapy for myself, that was hard for me to admit but there is no shame in needing some help. Heck, I want difficult child to be able to talk someone and listen to what advice they give him so I better be willing to do the same for myself. It's so much easier to give the advice, "take care of yourself" to someone than it is to do it for yourself but it's important. All I can really say to you is I'm sorry. I'm sorry that life with your difficult child is not all what you pictured it should or could be. I'm sorry that you've done your best and that isn't enough but be proud of yourself for doing your best because in the end that will hopefully bring you some comfort. [/QUOTE]
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