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Sad mother, bipolar daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="JaneBetty" data-source="post: 699957" data-attributes="member: 20814"><p>I thought I would post an update, even though there hasn't been much in the way of developments. My daughter was released Friday night and has spent the weekend somewhere, we are not sure. I looked at her call record on our Verizon account and noticed that on Saturday she made several calls to various social service agencies and to the state university department of psychology, as well as to a workplace rehabilitation program. Yippee!</p><p></p><p>I sat for a minute and wondered why she so reluctantly sought help while in this household, and is all of a sudden pursuing help in earnest, and I remembered reading many people's accounts here and reassuances that once your adult child is out of the house, it is amazing how resourceful they become!</p><p></p><p>Anyway, I also remembered a podcast that my youngest daughter recommended to us and that I think would be useful to people here. </p><p></p><p>Here's the description:</p><p></p><p>"NPR</p><p>Invisibilia Podcast July 1, 2016</p><p><span style="font-size: 18px"><strong>The Problem with the Solution</strong></span></p><p>We are naturally drawn to finding solutions. But are there ever problems we shouldn't try to solve? Lulu Miller visits a town in Belgium with a completely different approach to dealing with mental illness. Families in the town board people – strangers - with severe mental illnesses in their homes, sometimes for decades. And it works, because they are not looking to cure them."</p><p></p><p></p><p>The part in the podcast that really stuck with me is that the people in this study actually did better when released to a living situation that was not their family of origin. And I wondered whether my daughter suffered from thinking we were perpetually disappointed in her and that she was just stuck in a downward spiral of defeat, even though my husband and I tried our best to encourage her and grasped at even the most minute evidence that she was trying to address her behavior.</p><p></p><p>I think she hated thinking that we were trying to "fix" her, and that any deviation from acceptable behavior reinforced our opinion that she needed help. I think we were all boxed in. I'm not saying that she didn't need help, she certainly did, it's just that one's parents usually have the most complete idea of a child, and I think that our daughter was trying to escape this but didn't know how.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JaneBetty, post: 699957, member: 20814"] I thought I would post an update, even though there hasn't been much in the way of developments. My daughter was released Friday night and has spent the weekend somewhere, we are not sure. I looked at her call record on our Verizon account and noticed that on Saturday she made several calls to various social service agencies and to the state university department of psychology, as well as to a workplace rehabilitation program. Yippee! I sat for a minute and wondered why she so reluctantly sought help while in this household, and is all of a sudden pursuing help in earnest, and I remembered reading many people's accounts here and reassuances that once your adult child is out of the house, it is amazing how resourceful they become! Anyway, I also remembered a podcast that my youngest daughter recommended to us and that I think would be useful to people here. Here's the description: "NPR Invisibilia Podcast July 1, 2016 [SIZE=5][B]The Problem with the Solution[/B][/SIZE] We are naturally drawn to finding solutions. But are there ever problems we shouldn't try to solve? Lulu Miller visits a town in Belgium with a completely different approach to dealing with mental illness. Families in the town board people – strangers - with severe mental illnesses in their homes, sometimes for decades. And it works, because they are not looking to cure them." The part in the podcast that really stuck with me is that the people in this study actually did better when released to a living situation that was not their family of origin. And I wondered whether my daughter suffered from thinking we were perpetually disappointed in her and that she was just stuck in a downward spiral of defeat, even though my husband and I tried our best to encourage her and grasped at even the most minute evidence that she was trying to address her behavior. I think she hated thinking that we were trying to "fix" her, and that any deviation from acceptable behavior reinforced our opinion that she needed help. I think we were all boxed in. I'm not saying that she didn't need help, she certainly did, it's just that one's parents usually have the most complete idea of a child, and I think that our daughter was trying to escape this but didn't know how. [/QUOTE]
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