Hello, I don't know how I found this site, probably by googling something along the line of "bi-polar adult child tough love," and I am grateful to have found this site! We are middle aged parents of three daughters, 24, 26, and 28 years old. Our middle daughter is the reason for my post. She was our artistic child, popular in school, and was accepted to the best public university in our state. She began to unravel right around the age of twenty, and had to withdraw from university just before her 21st birthday. She tried various medications, but lacked the discipline to stay on any long enough to find the best mix. She tried a vocational program at our encouragement in the hope that she might learn a skill, thinking that maybe the academic route just wasn't for her, but she was unable to finish the program. Since the age of 23, she has lived full time with us. Many descriptions on this site of unpleasant and domineering behavior on the part of a difficult child apply to our experience. To recount what her behavior is like when she is in a manic state is painful and perhaps unnecessary since we all know what a depressed bipolar adult child is like. Things were getting bad enough in the last year that I began to seriously consider spending time away, since I thought that maybe there would be peace in the household. I tested the waters by spending a few weeks with one of my sisters, with my husband's support, and my daughter simply shifted her focus to my husband and made his life miserable. Three weeks ago, at the conclusion of a manic episode during which she physically attacked me when I confronted her about bringing in cats number two and three (never mind the three pet rats and two parakeets that we had to have removed), she found herself charged with domestic disturbance and in the back of a police cruiser and ended up spending the weekend in jail. It hurts me to write all this. It is awful to have a loved one who is mentally ill handcuffed and put in the back of a cruiser. She spent three days in jail. It is a hard situation as I care very much about her well being but I am also afraid to be in her presence, since her attack included hair pulling, punching, and biting. I have read stories here of parents who have learned to detach themselves, and I think I am half way there. I wish she didn't have to be forcefully removed from our household. Just two months ago, I was encouraging her to look for a small apartment with me. We found one, but on the day we were to sign a lease, she backed out and refused to sign or even consider moving. Does anyone here find themselves experiencing a peaceful household when their adult child is finally out, and dreading the day that the child might have to come back? I'm ashamed to say that I can't have her back in the house. I love her and am willing and able to support her from a distance, but I need time to breathe, and my husband and I need time to be alone together.