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Sad mother, bipolar daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="JaneBetty" data-source="post: 700413" data-attributes="member: 20814"><p>New Leaf, my condolences on the passing of your husband. It must be hard not to have the one person in your life who raised your children with you gone. Thank you for taking the time to respond. There are many things in your post that are helpful. </p><p></p><p>From what I can tell about the tenancy laws in my state, if she tries to live here again, arguing that she has possessions here and a long term tenancy, we can either go through a formal eviction process or simply have her removed as a trespasser, since there has never been a written lease agreement. The disorderly conduct and domestic abuse charge would argue in our favor as well. I hope none of this comes to pass, but I definitely see your point about allowing her back in (I even went upstairs and talked to my husband about it again!).</p><p></p><p>Thank you for pointing out that she is taking a good step towards finding a solution. It was just something about seeing that shelter phone number that bothered me. I used to volunteer there, and I know it is a good place, I just felt bad for her.</p><p></p><p>Your comment that "the worst theft is time" rang true to me. I used to spend a lot of time thinking about what my husband and I would do once he retired. Well, he retired three years ago, and he is nine years older than I am, and I see us both getting older, and I think about all the effort we spent trying to help her, and how we have been frozen in this drama. It makes me feel mad and guilty at the same time. </p><p></p><p>Our children are our tie to the future, maybe that's why we all hold on to the difficult ones for longer than we should. I would love to feel like a hero and solve all her problems, but she needs to be her own hero.</p><p></p><p>Leafy, you're very kind. Thank you again for posting, and I wish you peace and happiness too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JaneBetty, post: 700413, member: 20814"] New Leaf, my condolences on the passing of your husband. It must be hard not to have the one person in your life who raised your children with you gone. Thank you for taking the time to respond. There are many things in your post that are helpful. From what I can tell about the tenancy laws in my state, if she tries to live here again, arguing that she has possessions here and a long term tenancy, we can either go through a formal eviction process or simply have her removed as a trespasser, since there has never been a written lease agreement. The disorderly conduct and domestic abuse charge would argue in our favor as well. I hope none of this comes to pass, but I definitely see your point about allowing her back in (I even went upstairs and talked to my husband about it again!). Thank you for pointing out that she is taking a good step towards finding a solution. It was just something about seeing that shelter phone number that bothered me. I used to volunteer there, and I know it is a good place, I just felt bad for her. Your comment that "the worst theft is time" rang true to me. I used to spend a lot of time thinking about what my husband and I would do once he retired. Well, he retired three years ago, and he is nine years older than I am, and I see us both getting older, and I think about all the effort we spent trying to help her, and how we have been frozen in this drama. It makes me feel mad and guilty at the same time. Our children are our tie to the future, maybe that's why we all hold on to the difficult ones for longer than we should. I would love to feel like a hero and solve all her problems, but she needs to be her own hero. Leafy, you're very kind. Thank you again for posting, and I wish you peace and happiness too. [/QUOTE]
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