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Sad mother, bipolar daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 701102" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>I don't think you are over thinking dear. We all have very different situations with our d cs and it is tough to navigate these waters.</p><p> I reread your initial post to ponder a reply. I must say , I am a bit puzzled, but then again not, because this was me awhile back. It's just all so darn topsy turvy dealing with d cs. </p><p>Upcoming holidays certainly pose a dilemma. The Norman Rockwell family dinner painting takes on a whole new definition in most of our cases. That is what we all strive for, peace, decent conversation, etc. Oft times that is not the case.</p><p>You wrote of your daughters domineering behavior towards you which culminated in you actually leaving your home for a bit and then the <em>assault</em>. Pulling your hair, punching and biting you. I am sorry to bring this up, but feel it is well worth revisiting. In my own sad story of dealing with my two, as they cycled between crazy moods and that sort of stuff, I found myself on my own journey of being sick and tired of the disruption and unacceptable behavior, and feeling obligated to "help". Home just wasn't home anymore, it was like an invasion had occurred and I was not able to find balance, knocked off my foundation. I think the thing that happens is we <em>lose sense of ourselves</em> in the maelstrom. It is akin to being a victim of domestic violence with all of the stages. </p><p>Forgive me, but right now you are in the "honeymoon" stage.</p><p> Daughter is making her own way.</p><p> Your home is a bit more peaceful. </p><p>So the lure of the holidays and the Norman Rockwell painting sets in. </p><p>It is a good time, while she is finding her way, for you to focus on healing, seek counseling (if you haven't already), and really examine all you have been through. </p><p>I know the "shellshocked" feeling, just being numb and trying to put back the pieces, heck, I'm still working on it. </p><p>Then holidays come round and we just want family to be together. </p><p>I am not suggesting you don't have your daughter for the holidays.....just that you take some time to work on you and <em><strong>recovering</strong></em>. By your post, your daughter is doing okay. But, how are you? It is so hard when our own kids are malicious, abusive. It is not right. Somehow, they dish this ugliness out on us, I think they feel that we will take it and continue as is. </p><p>There is a lot written about unconditional love, but there are <em>boundaries</em>. Your daughter crossed a big one, attacking you. Sorry if I sound harsh, but I feel this needs to be addressed. Even though she has issues, it is <em>unacceptable</em>. </p><p>You have value, you matter. Your safety and well being is important. Above and beyond <em>everything. Holidays included. </em> </p><p>Just my thoughts this morning.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 701102, member: 19522"] I don't think you are over thinking dear. We all have very different situations with our d cs and it is tough to navigate these waters. I reread your initial post to ponder a reply. I must say , I am a bit puzzled, but then again not, because this was me awhile back. It's just all so darn topsy turvy dealing with d cs. Upcoming holidays certainly pose a dilemma. The Norman Rockwell family dinner painting takes on a whole new definition in most of our cases. That is what we all strive for, peace, decent conversation, etc. Oft times that is not the case. You wrote of your daughters domineering behavior towards you which culminated in you actually leaving your home for a bit and then the [I]assault[/I]. Pulling your hair, punching and biting you. I am sorry to bring this up, but feel it is well worth revisiting. In my own sad story of dealing with my two, as they cycled between crazy moods and that sort of stuff, I found myself on my own journey of being sick and tired of the disruption and unacceptable behavior, and feeling obligated to "help". Home just wasn't home anymore, it was like an invasion had occurred and I was not able to find balance, knocked off my foundation. I think the thing that happens is we [I]lose sense of ourselves[/I] in the maelstrom. It is akin to being a victim of domestic violence with all of the stages. Forgive me, but right now you are in the "honeymoon" stage. Daughter is making her own way. Your home is a bit more peaceful. So the lure of the holidays and the Norman Rockwell painting sets in. It is a good time, while she is finding her way, for you to focus on healing, seek counseling (if you haven't already), and really examine all you have been through. I know the "shellshocked" feeling, just being numb and trying to put back the pieces, heck, I'm still working on it. Then holidays come round and we just want family to be together. I am not suggesting you don't have your daughter for the holidays.....just that you take some time to work on you and [I][B]recovering[/B][/I]. By your post, your daughter is doing okay. But, how are you? It is so hard when our own kids are malicious, abusive. It is not right. Somehow, they dish this ugliness out on us, I think they feel that we will take it and continue as is. There is a lot written about unconditional love, but there are [I]boundaries[/I]. Your daughter crossed a big one, attacking you. Sorry if I sound harsh, but I feel this needs to be addressed. Even though she has issues, it is [I]unacceptable[/I]. You have value, you matter. Your safety and well being is important. Above and beyond [I]everything. Holidays included. [/I] Just my thoughts this morning. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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