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Parent Emeritus
Sad mother, bipolar daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="JaneBetty" data-source="post: 701105" data-attributes="member: 20814"><p>Leafy, you are so very kind. I know these things you are trying to relate to me. I know them. I want everyone at the table. I want the idealized version. I want everyone to give it up and say it's okay, mom, we are here. </p><p></p><p>It is the holiday season, there is some ideal we are trying to achieve, but true progress takes time and the holidays don't insure that it is all going to be fine. </p><p></p><p>I'm thankful she is trying to do something to get back on her feet. I should just leave her be and move on, love her from afar. Like many here, I imagine she is suffering without any direct knowledge of it. </p><p></p><p>And I have to keep reminding myself that she hasn't asked to come back home, which really, is my worst fear, because I don't want her back. And I keep imagining that conversation with her, which probably looms larger in my head than it needs to.</p><p></p><p>Yes, she did knock me about and hurt me, and it is astounding how blase I felt about it at the time, because all signs pointed to a show down for a long time. And we are in a honeymoon here now, you're right.</p><p></p><p>I keep reminding myself how I viewed my parents when I was her age. They were like one dimensional anchors who I loved but didn't really consult as I went about making decisions and mistakes. </p><p></p><p>There is some part of her that is doing the same and views us the same. </p><p></p><p>Thank you again, Leafy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JaneBetty, post: 701105, member: 20814"] Leafy, you are so very kind. I know these things you are trying to relate to me. I know them. I want everyone at the table. I want the idealized version. I want everyone to give it up and say it's okay, mom, we are here. It is the holiday season, there is some ideal we are trying to achieve, but true progress takes time and the holidays don't insure that it is all going to be fine. I'm thankful she is trying to do something to get back on her feet. I should just leave her be and move on, love her from afar. Like many here, I imagine she is suffering without any direct knowledge of it. And I have to keep reminding myself that she hasn't asked to come back home, which really, is my worst fear, because I don't want her back. And I keep imagining that conversation with her, which probably looms larger in my head than it needs to. Yes, she did knock me about and hurt me, and it is astounding how blase I felt about it at the time, because all signs pointed to a show down for a long time. And we are in a honeymoon here now, you're right. I keep reminding myself how I viewed my parents when I was her age. They were like one dimensional anchors who I loved but didn't really consult as I went about making decisions and mistakes. There is some part of her that is doing the same and views us the same. Thank you again, Leafy. [/QUOTE]
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