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Sad mother, bipolar daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="JaneBetty" data-source="post: 703957" data-attributes="member: 20814"><p>Sandyr, I'm sorry you are going through this with your daughter. This forum helped me realize that there are limits to what is acceptable in an adult child and parent relationship. Because we lived with our daughter for such a long period of time, we didn't see how things had gone from bad to worse. It happened so slowly that every new bad event sort of became the new normal. It was hard to see this while it was happening, only possible in hindsight.</p><p></p><p>There is a part of me that is horrified how relieved I am that she is off on her own. I struggle with trying to figure out how much to care about her well being. I love her forever.</p><p></p><p>Her birthday is coming up, and we sent a card and some gifts. I sat with a pen poised over the card and ran through what I wanted to write all the while imagining her reaction to my written words, and in the end I simply wished her a happy birthday, love, Mom. I didn't want to provoke her. She twists everyone's words into unrecognizable meanings.</p><p></p><p>I feel terrible not to know where she is living, but she refuses to let us know. She has a job, but her attitude is that we are not allowed to know because somehow we will have "won" that she was forced to get a job!</p><p></p><p>Somehow, the circumstances of her life are all our fault, despite our earnest attempts to help.</p><p></p><p>It sounds like you are in the beginning stages of dealing with watching your daughter's actions from afar, but you are still in the know enough to have details of her living circumstances. You have done the right thing by having a RO issued, and it will probably be the first step in detaching from the drama of her life. It doesn't mean anything will be easier for your family, but at least a line has been drawn. You daughter needs boundaries, even though she might not think so!</p><p></p><p>I wish you well, please keep posting here, it really helps with the heartache.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JaneBetty, post: 703957, member: 20814"] Sandyr, I'm sorry you are going through this with your daughter. This forum helped me realize that there are limits to what is acceptable in an adult child and parent relationship. Because we lived with our daughter for such a long period of time, we didn't see how things had gone from bad to worse. It happened so slowly that every new bad event sort of became the new normal. It was hard to see this while it was happening, only possible in hindsight. There is a part of me that is horrified how relieved I am that she is off on her own. I struggle with trying to figure out how much to care about her well being. I love her forever. Her birthday is coming up, and we sent a card and some gifts. I sat with a pen poised over the card and ran through what I wanted to write all the while imagining her reaction to my written words, and in the end I simply wished her a happy birthday, love, Mom. I didn't want to provoke her. She twists everyone's words into unrecognizable meanings. I feel terrible not to know where she is living, but she refuses to let us know. She has a job, but her attitude is that we are not allowed to know because somehow we will have "won" that she was forced to get a job! Somehow, the circumstances of her life are all our fault, despite our earnest attempts to help. It sounds like you are in the beginning stages of dealing with watching your daughter's actions from afar, but you are still in the know enough to have details of her living circumstances. You have done the right thing by having a RO issued, and it will probably be the first step in detaching from the drama of her life. It doesn't mean anything will be easier for your family, but at least a line has been drawn. You daughter needs boundaries, even though she might not think so! I wish you well, please keep posting here, it really helps with the heartache. [/QUOTE]
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