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Sad news, could use some prayers please......
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 621899" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I think that is crucial Cedar, not hiding behind ANY mask. </p><p></p><p>I was reading <u>When things fall apart</u> (Chodron again) last night about a time in her own life where she arrived at the monastery where she would be the director. She felt herself to be a pretty okay person at that point and yet when she got there she fell apart. She did not have the defenses or the usual escape hatches, she was forced to live right in the moment with no masks............ she goes on to say, "If we commit ourselves to staying right where we are, then our experiences become very vivid. Things become very clear when there is no way to escape." She said, "we cannot be in the present and run our story lines at the same time!" "Impermanence becomes vivid in the present moment; so do compassion and wonder and courage. And, so does fear. In fact, anyone who stands on the edge of the unknown, fully in the present without reference point, experiences groundlessness. That's when our understanding goes deeper, when we find that the present moment is a pretty vulnerable place and that this can be completely unnerving and completely tender at the same time. What we're talking about is getting to know fear, becoming familiar with fear, looking it right in the eye, as a complete undoing of old ways of seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and thinking. When we do this we are going to be completely humbled. This has to do with having the courage to die, the courage to die continually. When we stop there and don't act out, don't repress, don't blame it on anyone else, and don't blame it on ourselves, <u>we encounter our heart." </u></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That's it Cedar, that's being real. The absolute joy and the sadness, all of it rolled into a life without the defenses we erect trying to make it different, to make it safer.........it's not, there is tremendous suffering and absolute joy.............and they are all mingled together in our every day lives. I think meditating can help us balance it to some degree, but it does not remove us from the remarkable vivid reality of life. It's acknowledging the suffering and accepting it all just the way it is. </p><p></p><p>Remember when I was talking about feeling so vulnerable? That was me opening up to ALL of it. If I can stay opened, I can flow with the changes without denying the feelings, I can feel it all and ride the waves in a more balanced way by accepting what is. Not repressing or denying the feelings or somehow being "above" them, but being in them totally, without interpreting them as good or bad, without the story, the past, the future..........just the now. It is getting to be the most liberation I have ever imagined feeling.</p><p></p><p>It's a little scary because I believe you are now allowing all of the feelings to come forth without any mask. It's new.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>The future will be what it will be, perhaps not labeling it as hard will be more helpful for us. Perhaps allowing it to unfold freely and without our interpretations will be more valuable. If we are okay with ourselves and we can be in the present moment and not see things as right or wrong, or good or bad, perhaps we can just BE. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Our daughters share those beliefs Cedar. Interesting isn't it? Perhaps they are living out the freedom that you and I repressed underneath the masks we wore. Perhaps in freeing ourselves, they can be free to live out the lives they are destined to live. OR perhaps these are the lives they are destined to live and we have to accept that and be okay with it...............and give them our complete acceptance without our mother masks involved. I don't know. All I know is that I am more in touch with LIFE, that wonder, that compassion, that vitality, then I have ever been before..............and that is a remarkable gift.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 621899, member: 13542"] I think that is crucial Cedar, not hiding behind ANY mask. I was reading [U]When things fall apart[/U] (Chodron again) last night about a time in her own life where she arrived at the monastery where she would be the director. She felt herself to be a pretty okay person at that point and yet when she got there she fell apart. She did not have the defenses or the usual escape hatches, she was forced to live right in the moment with no masks............ she goes on to say, "If we commit ourselves to staying right where we are, then our experiences become very vivid. Things become very clear when there is no way to escape." She said, "we cannot be in the present and run our story lines at the same time!" "Impermanence becomes vivid in the present moment; so do compassion and wonder and courage. And, so does fear. In fact, anyone who stands on the edge of the unknown, fully in the present without reference point, experiences groundlessness. That's when our understanding goes deeper, when we find that the present moment is a pretty vulnerable place and that this can be completely unnerving and completely tender at the same time. What we're talking about is getting to know fear, becoming familiar with fear, looking it right in the eye, as a complete undoing of old ways of seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and thinking. When we do this we are going to be completely humbled. This has to do with having the courage to die, the courage to die continually. When we stop there and don't act out, don't repress, don't blame it on anyone else, and don't blame it on ourselves, [U]we encounter our heart." [/U] That's it Cedar, that's being real. The absolute joy and the sadness, all of it rolled into a life without the defenses we erect trying to make it different, to make it safer.........it's not, there is tremendous suffering and absolute joy.............and they are all mingled together in our every day lives. I think meditating can help us balance it to some degree, but it does not remove us from the remarkable vivid reality of life. It's acknowledging the suffering and accepting it all just the way it is. Remember when I was talking about feeling so vulnerable? That was me opening up to ALL of it. If I can stay opened, I can flow with the changes without denying the feelings, I can feel it all and ride the waves in a more balanced way by accepting what is. Not repressing or denying the feelings or somehow being "above" them, but being in them totally, without interpreting them as good or bad, without the story, the past, the future..........just the now. It is getting to be the most liberation I have ever imagined feeling. It's a little scary because I believe you are now allowing all of the feelings to come forth without any mask. It's new. The future will be what it will be, perhaps not labeling it as hard will be more helpful for us. Perhaps allowing it to unfold freely and without our interpretations will be more valuable. If we are okay with ourselves and we can be in the present moment and not see things as right or wrong, or good or bad, perhaps we can just BE. Our daughters share those beliefs Cedar. Interesting isn't it? Perhaps they are living out the freedom that you and I repressed underneath the masks we wore. Perhaps in freeing ourselves, they can be free to live out the lives they are destined to live. OR perhaps these are the lives they are destined to live and we have to accept that and be okay with it...............and give them our complete acceptance without our mother masks involved. I don't know. All I know is that I am more in touch with LIFE, that wonder, that compassion, that vitality, then I have ever been before..............and that is a remarkable gift. [/QUOTE]
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Sad news, could use some prayers please......
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