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Sad this morning
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 277515" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Crazy,,,,,,</p><p> </p><p>I'm going to tell you this because I've been there so many times I lost count of the tears - BUT......maybe (MAYBE) this will help ease your weary heart. </p><p> </p><p>Dude and I played out your scenario several times and what's more heartbreaking to me is that he was RARELY in school - he was mostly in some Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or group home or hospital. So when he did have what I felt were moments of normality - it hurt a lot when the other kids were doing the fun things like tie-dye shirts and sleepovers - or in a Mother's mind....fitting in and having moments of normalcy - being like other kids. </p><p> </p><p>But NOT to worry - because (here's where it makes you feel better) </p><p> </p><p>A lot of times Dude sabotaged the trip on purpose so he COULD stay behind with some one on one time with a teacher - or other staff. MOST of the time he even admitted later he did not want to go with the other kids - which in a way makes you feel better as a parent to think this was a choice - but then you wonder - is he just saying that or did he really NOT want to go with the other kids. </p><p> </p><p>WEll why would he? DUdes standard response. The other kids were cruel often said things that didn't make Dude feel like being a part of it and later in his life would say that when he KNEW a fun thing was coming up? He could hold it together to go - and when I think back - he did. </p><p> </p><p>SO don't be so broken hearted - because in staying behind a lot of times our kids have more one on one time which is better for them and not the stigma of being "normal" or like everyone else - they know they're unique and neat kids - let him be what he is - and maybe that's NOT one of the "other kids" who did this sleepover thing.....maybe it's the bright kid who figured out a week ago how to get out of a dumb sleepover so he could get one on one time with a teacher....</p><p> </p><p>Just a different way of looking at it from a Mom of a kid who didn't LIKE to do whatever the other kids did. But it took HIM telling me that to ease my heart - but he didn't tell me until he was a lot older - like 15.....</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hang in there - </p><p>I know what you mean - really. </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 277515, member: 4964"] Crazy,,,,,, I'm going to tell you this because I've been there so many times I lost count of the tears - BUT......maybe (MAYBE) this will help ease your weary heart. Dude and I played out your scenario several times and what's more heartbreaking to me is that he was RARELY in school - he was mostly in some Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or group home or hospital. So when he did have what I felt were moments of normality - it hurt a lot when the other kids were doing the fun things like tie-dye shirts and sleepovers - or in a Mother's mind....fitting in and having moments of normalcy - being like other kids. But NOT to worry - because (here's where it makes you feel better) A lot of times Dude sabotaged the trip on purpose so he COULD stay behind with some one on one time with a teacher - or other staff. MOST of the time he even admitted later he did not want to go with the other kids - which in a way makes you feel better as a parent to think this was a choice - but then you wonder - is he just saying that or did he really NOT want to go with the other kids. WEll why would he? DUdes standard response. The other kids were cruel often said things that didn't make Dude feel like being a part of it and later in his life would say that when he KNEW a fun thing was coming up? He could hold it together to go - and when I think back - he did. SO don't be so broken hearted - because in staying behind a lot of times our kids have more one on one time which is better for them and not the stigma of being "normal" or like everyone else - they know they're unique and neat kids - let him be what he is - and maybe that's NOT one of the "other kids" who did this sleepover thing.....maybe it's the bright kid who figured out a week ago how to get out of a dumb sleepover so he could get one on one time with a teacher.... Just a different way of looking at it from a Mom of a kid who didn't LIKE to do whatever the other kids did. But it took HIM telling me that to ease my heart - but he didn't tell me until he was a lot older - like 15..... Hang in there - I know what you mean - really. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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