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Sad tonight
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<blockquote data-quote="Wakegirl" data-source="post: 579406" data-attributes="member: 15912"><p>Goodness gracious, Zardo, I could've just about written that, word for word. I live in your shoes. And have been for quite sometime. It's a very scary and horrible way to live. Excuse my language, but it pisses me off that we love and do the best for our kids, only to end up being the enemy in their eyes. I got to a point that I was scared to confront my difficult child about anything...grades, chores, job, etc. If he had used drugs within the past 24 hours, his reaction was to scream bloody murder at me, curse me, throw things, and on and on. I was just yelled and screamed at this past week when I informed him that I would be in court with him the next day. Well, that turned into me being a bi!#$, a worthless mother, I'm only adding fuel to the fire, etc. I was laying in my bed, actually writing a post on this forum, when he walked in acting like a demon. I was scared to death. Literally shaking in my own skin, crying. How can somebody that owns so much of our hearts treat us this way? </p><p></p><p>We too are a very loving family, and very normal family, as I'm sure most of CD members are. Cats. Dogs. Supportive parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles. Nice house. Nice jobs. Gym memberships. Family dinners. Family vacations. And a very disgruntled difficult child. I honestly believe that you can be the absolute best parent and role model in the world, but the minute our children step one foot off the path that we've taught them to walk, they will either make it or break it. They will either be leaders or followers. The decision is in their hands. And sadly, ours tossed the morals we taught them out the window, and became followers. I've always told my difficult child that life is about the decisions that he makes. And that's my battle now...realizing these are HIS mistakes, and HE must pay the cost...and I shouldn't feel guilty because it's what he has chosen. It's a daily battle. I pray that all of our difficult child's turn the page, sooner rather than later. </p><p></p><p>One last thought...and this is what I've been repeating over and over to myself.... a friend told me this one day and it was like a light bulb going off.... she said, "If you don't quite enabling him, and saving him, and start showing him tough love, you are literally going to love him to <u>death</u>. Literally". That was a hard pill to swallow. Yet helped open my eyes. </p><p></p><p>Huge hugs to you!!!!</p><p></p><p>P.S. Wasn't trying to make my post about me...just sharing that I know exactly where you are coming from.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Wakegirl, post: 579406, member: 15912"] Goodness gracious, Zardo, I could've just about written that, word for word. I live in your shoes. And have been for quite sometime. It's a very scary and horrible way to live. Excuse my language, but it pisses me off that we love and do the best for our kids, only to end up being the enemy in their eyes. I got to a point that I was scared to confront my difficult child about anything...grades, chores, job, etc. If he had used drugs within the past 24 hours, his reaction was to scream bloody murder at me, curse me, throw things, and on and on. I was just yelled and screamed at this past week when I informed him that I would be in court with him the next day. Well, that turned into me being a bi!#$, a worthless mother, I'm only adding fuel to the fire, etc. I was laying in my bed, actually writing a post on this forum, when he walked in acting like a demon. I was scared to death. Literally shaking in my own skin, crying. How can somebody that owns so much of our hearts treat us this way? We too are a very loving family, and very normal family, as I'm sure most of CD members are. Cats. Dogs. Supportive parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles. Nice house. Nice jobs. Gym memberships. Family dinners. Family vacations. And a very disgruntled difficult child. I honestly believe that you can be the absolute best parent and role model in the world, but the minute our children step one foot off the path that we've taught them to walk, they will either make it or break it. They will either be leaders or followers. The decision is in their hands. And sadly, ours tossed the morals we taught them out the window, and became followers. I've always told my difficult child that life is about the decisions that he makes. And that's my battle now...realizing these are HIS mistakes, and HE must pay the cost...and I shouldn't feel guilty because it's what he has chosen. It's a daily battle. I pray that all of our difficult child's turn the page, sooner rather than later. One last thought...and this is what I've been repeating over and over to myself.... a friend told me this one day and it was like a light bulb going off.... she said, "If you don't quite enabling him, and saving him, and start showing him tough love, you are literally going to love him to [U]death[/U]. Literally". That was a hard pill to swallow. Yet helped open my eyes. Huge hugs to you!!!! P.S. Wasn't trying to make my post about me...just sharing that I know exactly where you are coming from. [/QUOTE]
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