Our difficult child has been diagnosed with a variety of issues since she was 3. She was thrown out of daycare for biting a staff member and hitting other children and we started down the endless road we continue to wander. We have had Family and Childrens services in and out of our lives for 10 years and they come in and "fix" the situation and rattle the sabre and then they disappear again. We have been on the roller coaster so long I forget what terra firma feels like. Like all the other parents we go through brief honeymoon periods where you have hope that something might actually be penetrating but then we are plunged down the next steep hill.
Since October we seem to be caught in a nightmare we can't escape. The last day that she attended school regularly was Oct. 15. difficult child got into heavy drug use and started taking off and coming in at late hours. Then in November I discovered that she had stolen a wallet containing $350. When I confronted her she ran away from home. While she was gone for the 3 days we spent a lot of time on the phone to crisis lines and FCS and they all referred us to a provincial program called PCHAD (protecting children abusing drugs). We were completely oblivious to the fact that she was doing drugs because we had educated our daughter against the dangers of drug use. Naive us when I finally got to talking to her friends they all confirmed that she was heavily using. We are talking Cocaine, crack, pot, mushrooms, e, ect. We finally got her back and transported her to a safe house where she was kept locked up for 5 days. I contacted all the resources that they suggested and nothing worked. She came home just before Christmas and because she wanted presents she behaved somewhat. In January she started a day program at the alcohol and drugs prevention program and everything was fine while her dad was off work. The day he was starting back to work she managed to get herself thrown out. Blamed it on someone else but she got to restart in 2 weeks time. I had to take days off work to deal with all the issues and then the 3rd time she restarted the program I asked for a 2 month leave of absence.
I have contacted every agency I can find to get some help and answers. There is a program for OD/CD but the cost is 35000 for a 4 month program and no agency is willing to pay for it. They offer to send in a worker to negotiate some boundries. This girl takes off for days at a time and we are supposed to negotiate. Now just when you think we at the worst of it, the day she got out of her 3rd time in PCHAD she ran away at 11:30 pm. I was right on her heels but I couldn't find her. I reported her missing (again) and then at 2:30 I get a phone call that she has been involved in a head on hit and run accident in a stolen vehicle. They aren't going to charge her as long as she agrees to testify. They also refuse to charge her with stealing 100 from me because I didn't actually see her take the money. Now in the last 2 weeks she has been arrested in 3 stolen vehicles, comes home with lots of new clothes, purses, jewellery and makeup (no job) and she has been charged with nothing. She is again coming home at all hours of the night and taking off the minute my back is turned. The police refuse to look for her when she runs away (she took off, she'll come back) but I finally get a call from an officer that he caught her smoking and gave her a ticket. When he ran her in the system she is listed as a run away. I hear her screaming at this officer and offer to come and get her. When I arrive she is still yelling and screaming and having a full blown melt down. The officer does nothing. I tell her to get in the van and when she refuses she just turns and runs away. So now she is gone again. Punishing us for who knows how many days. We just got her back on Sunday. She was missing for 5 days and she was telling everyone that she was thrown out of the house, she was pregnant and she just got out of jail. I only found her by going onto one of her chat sites and pretending to be someone else. I got her to tell me where she was and then I sent husband to find her. Meanwhile we wait for another referal program so we can get a current diagnosis of her mental health issue. In a few weeks we will be informed when we meet with the 5th psychiatrist. In the drug programs she tests as someone without a moral compass who has no sense of right or wrong. She watches the drug movies that would have a hardened law enforcement officer weeping and she is giggling. She is narcissistic and spends so much time focusing attention on herself noone else gets anytime. Just treat her for something, anything.
Thanks for letting me blow off a little steam. I have spent the last 2 weeks on the phone and writing to everyone I can think of for help.
Since October we seem to be caught in a nightmare we can't escape. The last day that she attended school regularly was Oct. 15. difficult child got into heavy drug use and started taking off and coming in at late hours. Then in November I discovered that she had stolen a wallet containing $350. When I confronted her she ran away from home. While she was gone for the 3 days we spent a lot of time on the phone to crisis lines and FCS and they all referred us to a provincial program called PCHAD (protecting children abusing drugs). We were completely oblivious to the fact that she was doing drugs because we had educated our daughter against the dangers of drug use. Naive us when I finally got to talking to her friends they all confirmed that she was heavily using. We are talking Cocaine, crack, pot, mushrooms, e, ect. We finally got her back and transported her to a safe house where she was kept locked up for 5 days. I contacted all the resources that they suggested and nothing worked. She came home just before Christmas and because she wanted presents she behaved somewhat. In January she started a day program at the alcohol and drugs prevention program and everything was fine while her dad was off work. The day he was starting back to work she managed to get herself thrown out. Blamed it on someone else but she got to restart in 2 weeks time. I had to take days off work to deal with all the issues and then the 3rd time she restarted the program I asked for a 2 month leave of absence.
I have contacted every agency I can find to get some help and answers. There is a program for OD/CD but the cost is 35000 for a 4 month program and no agency is willing to pay for it. They offer to send in a worker to negotiate some boundries. This girl takes off for days at a time and we are supposed to negotiate. Now just when you think we at the worst of it, the day she got out of her 3rd time in PCHAD she ran away at 11:30 pm. I was right on her heels but I couldn't find her. I reported her missing (again) and then at 2:30 I get a phone call that she has been involved in a head on hit and run accident in a stolen vehicle. They aren't going to charge her as long as she agrees to testify. They also refuse to charge her with stealing 100 from me because I didn't actually see her take the money. Now in the last 2 weeks she has been arrested in 3 stolen vehicles, comes home with lots of new clothes, purses, jewellery and makeup (no job) and she has been charged with nothing. She is again coming home at all hours of the night and taking off the minute my back is turned. The police refuse to look for her when she runs away (she took off, she'll come back) but I finally get a call from an officer that he caught her smoking and gave her a ticket. When he ran her in the system she is listed as a run away. I hear her screaming at this officer and offer to come and get her. When I arrive she is still yelling and screaming and having a full blown melt down. The officer does nothing. I tell her to get in the van and when she refuses she just turns and runs away. So now she is gone again. Punishing us for who knows how many days. We just got her back on Sunday. She was missing for 5 days and she was telling everyone that she was thrown out of the house, she was pregnant and she just got out of jail. I only found her by going onto one of her chat sites and pretending to be someone else. I got her to tell me where she was and then I sent husband to find her. Meanwhile we wait for another referal program so we can get a current diagnosis of her mental health issue. In a few weeks we will be informed when we meet with the 5th psychiatrist. In the drug programs she tests as someone without a moral compass who has no sense of right or wrong. She watches the drug movies that would have a hardened law enforcement officer weeping and she is giggling. She is narcissistic and spends so much time focusing attention on herself noone else gets anytime. Just treat her for something, anything.
Thanks for letting me blow off a little steam. I have spent the last 2 weeks on the phone and writing to everyone I can think of for help.