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Scared son just got arrested
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 99333" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>I'm going to throw a little ice-water on the situation.</p><p></p><p>If he is acting all cool about it I would try very hard to not lose my cool in front of him. I would point blank tell him that I was very disappointed in him, and had lost faith in him and that you hope he has the common sense to try to earn your faith back. Don't let him see you rattled. It probably gives him a sense of control. These kids usually can't control themselves, but it gives them a great sense of power if they think that they can control their parents.</p><p></p><p>Your son acted in concert with the other boy. The law probably won't care much who took what, because both boys are guilty of burglary by breaking. There will be fingers pointed and neither of their word's will be good enough for the court, unless the other takes the blame entirely upon himself. Your son being the new one, I would be surprised at that kind of loyalty. Whatever you do, don't let your son minimize his behavior compared to the other boy's actions. What he did was wrong, and you shouldn't give an inch on that opinion.</p><p></p><p>He should definitely be made to earn his way out of any fines. Honestly, I don't know that I would start by making him take care of your invalid mother. I might start by making him do the heavy stuff while I supervised. Your son is angry right now, and will be angry that there is punishment. It's not fair or healthy to make your mother deal with an angry teen in her most intimate and helpless moments. Maybe he could lighten the load by doing her laundry, or doing supervised chair transfers. </p><p></p><p>As far as the homeschool thing goes? I don't know. Can he go back to his other school, or into the high school where his old friends are?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 99333, member: 99"] I'm going to throw a little ice-water on the situation. If he is acting all cool about it I would try very hard to not lose my cool in front of him. I would point blank tell him that I was very disappointed in him, and had lost faith in him and that you hope he has the common sense to try to earn your faith back. Don't let him see you rattled. It probably gives him a sense of control. These kids usually can't control themselves, but it gives them a great sense of power if they think that they can control their parents. Your son acted in concert with the other boy. The law probably won't care much who took what, because both boys are guilty of burglary by breaking. There will be fingers pointed and neither of their word's will be good enough for the court, unless the other takes the blame entirely upon himself. Your son being the new one, I would be surprised at that kind of loyalty. Whatever you do, don't let your son minimize his behavior compared to the other boy's actions. What he did was wrong, and you shouldn't give an inch on that opinion. He should definitely be made to earn his way out of any fines. Honestly, I don't know that I would start by making him take care of your invalid mother. I might start by making him do the heavy stuff while I supervised. Your son is angry right now, and will be angry that there is punishment. It's not fair or healthy to make your mother deal with an angry teen in her most intimate and helpless moments. Maybe he could lighten the load by doing her laundry, or doing supervised chair transfers. As far as the homeschool thing goes? I don't know. Can he go back to his other school, or into the high school where his old friends are? [/QUOTE]
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