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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 372883" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Congratulations on your new baby!!!!!</p><p> </p><p>I completely understand your fears. It is very sweet and considerate of you to think about how you tell your sister. I am always amazed at the thoughtless ways people handle others' fertility issues, including their choice to have another child at any particular time. If anyone "blows a gasket", hang up the phone or leave. They have NO RIGHT to try to make you feel bad about having another child. If you don't want to do that, tell them that you are sorry they feel that way and are so small minded that they cannot be thankful that God has chosen to bless you with another child at this time. I have a friend with 12 children (all bio) and I have witnessed numerous times when people she knows or complete strangers who see her with her kids or ask if it is her first (stranger ask that, of course) and then try to make her feel bad because she has had so many children. Each time she looks at them and asks who they are to question when and if God blesses her with another child? People usually backpedal at that point, or walk away.</p><p> </p><p>Your fears are understandable. Wiz was 4 when Jess was born and we had started to see some of the problems, though not nearly all of them. He insisted right up until he saw her undressed in the hospital that I was going to have a T Rex, that it was a T Rex that he felt in my belly (can you<em> imagine</em> giving birth to a live T Rex, with-o the shell? OUCH!) rolling around. He had to pull the blanket open and watch as we pulled her little onesie off in the hospital before we could convince him that she was not just not a T Rex but also that she was not a boy. He kept asking when her "parts" were going to pop out and if he was born like that how old was he when his "parts" popped out! (It really was very cute - he was very concerned that she was broken or somehow missing a part, LOL.) </p><p> </p><p>By the time I was preg with thank you things were pretty bad with Wiz. We were already seeing a psychiatrist and trying medications. So bad that at one point I was advised to raise Wiz in a home as an only child. If only they had told me this BEFORE I was 7 mos preg with my 3rd child!! There were problems, I won't say there were not. But now that Wiz is an adult and has chosen to use the tools he has learned, all of my kids have a really good relationship with each other.</p><p> </p><p>Most kids go through a period of jealousy and adjustment, but even with a difficult child it CAN be handled. It will be a good idea for the baby to sleep in your room the first few months at least. After that a baby monitor will help, esp if you have one of those cool video ones. But even the audio monitor will be a big help. difficult children are not usually quiet when they are doing something they shouldn't. At least not when they are as young as your youngest will be.</p><p> </p><p>Whatever happens, we will be here with sympathy, empathy, and friendship. We will even offer advice and not be offended if it doesn't help or you choose not to use it!!!</p><p> </p><p>Do what you can to make this a special time for your boys. Let them share in things however is reasonable given their ages. Talk with them about it (closer to the due date, of course), have them do the hospital tour. Bringing a gift home from the hospital for the boys from the new baby is an excellent idea. Esp if it is something that really appeals to them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 372883, member: 1233"] Congratulations on your new baby!!!!! I completely understand your fears. It is very sweet and considerate of you to think about how you tell your sister. I am always amazed at the thoughtless ways people handle others' fertility issues, including their choice to have another child at any particular time. If anyone "blows a gasket", hang up the phone or leave. They have NO RIGHT to try to make you feel bad about having another child. If you don't want to do that, tell them that you are sorry they feel that way and are so small minded that they cannot be thankful that God has chosen to bless you with another child at this time. I have a friend with 12 children (all bio) and I have witnessed numerous times when people she knows or complete strangers who see her with her kids or ask if it is her first (stranger ask that, of course) and then try to make her feel bad because she has had so many children. Each time she looks at them and asks who they are to question when and if God blesses her with another child? People usually backpedal at that point, or walk away. Your fears are understandable. Wiz was 4 when Jess was born and we had started to see some of the problems, though not nearly all of them. He insisted right up until he saw her undressed in the hospital that I was going to have a T Rex, that it was a T Rex that he felt in my belly (can you[I] imagine[/I] giving birth to a live T Rex, with-o the shell? OUCH!) rolling around. He had to pull the blanket open and watch as we pulled her little onesie off in the hospital before we could convince him that she was not just not a T Rex but also that she was not a boy. He kept asking when her "parts" were going to pop out and if he was born like that how old was he when his "parts" popped out! (It really was very cute - he was very concerned that she was broken or somehow missing a part, LOL.) By the time I was preg with thank you things were pretty bad with Wiz. We were already seeing a psychiatrist and trying medications. So bad that at one point I was advised to raise Wiz in a home as an only child. If only they had told me this BEFORE I was 7 mos preg with my 3rd child!! There were problems, I won't say there were not. But now that Wiz is an adult and has chosen to use the tools he has learned, all of my kids have a really good relationship with each other. Most kids go through a period of jealousy and adjustment, but even with a difficult child it CAN be handled. It will be a good idea for the baby to sleep in your room the first few months at least. After that a baby monitor will help, esp if you have one of those cool video ones. But even the audio monitor will be a big help. difficult children are not usually quiet when they are doing something they shouldn't. At least not when they are as young as your youngest will be. Whatever happens, we will be here with sympathy, empathy, and friendship. We will even offer advice and not be offended if it doesn't help or you choose not to use it!!! Do what you can to make this a special time for your boys. Let them share in things however is reasonable given their ages. Talk with them about it (closer to the due date, of course), have them do the hospital tour. Bringing a gift home from the hospital for the boys from the new baby is an excellent idea. Esp if it is something that really appeals to them. [/QUOTE]
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