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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 677658" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Hi Lizzie,</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry for what you are going through. You have received some very good advice from SWOT.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Please don't buy into this. He is hurting and is lashing out, that's all it is. You did not cause this for him. There are many people who have come from very dysfunctional homes that also suffer from depression but they have managed to live healthy and productive lives.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Listen to your husband, he is right.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I know you love your son and are very worried about him but allowing him to live in your home where is free to just eat and sleep is not helping him. I'm not saying that you need to throw him out but without some clear boundaries and rules nothing will change for him or you.</p><p>If it were me, I would tell him that he can continue to live there but he needs to do the following, see a therapist and get on medication and find some kind of a job. I would also give him a time limit, say you have until next week to find a therapist and get on medication. After he's been on the medications for at least 3 weeks, then it's time to start looking for a job.</p><p></p><p>I would also suggest that you seek out a therapist. While this site is wonderful and you will get much needed support, having a therapist that can really help you navigate through this and help you set healthy boundaries will help you more than you can know.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you are here with us Lizzie. Please let us know how things are going.</p><p></p><p>((HUGS)) to you.............................</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 677658, member: 18516"] Hi Lizzie, I am so sorry for what you are going through. You have received some very good advice from SWOT. Please don't buy into this. He is hurting and is lashing out, that's all it is. You did not cause this for him. There are many people who have come from very dysfunctional homes that also suffer from depression but they have managed to live healthy and productive lives. Listen to your husband, he is right. I know you love your son and are very worried about him but allowing him to live in your home where is free to just eat and sleep is not helping him. I'm not saying that you need to throw him out but without some clear boundaries and rules nothing will change for him or you. If it were me, I would tell him that he can continue to live there but he needs to do the following, see a therapist and get on medication and find some kind of a job. I would also give him a time limit, say you have until next week to find a therapist and get on medication. After he's been on the medications for at least 3 weeks, then it's time to start looking for a job. I would also suggest that you seek out a therapist. While this site is wonderful and you will get much needed support, having a therapist that can really help you navigate through this and help you set healthy boundaries will help you more than you can know. I'm glad you are here with us Lizzie. Please let us know how things are going. ((HUGS)) to you............................. [/QUOTE]
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