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scene with-the ex argh!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 386118" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>We spent the weekend before last at my niece's wedding. She's about 40 and getting married for the first time. Her parents split up 25 years ago after 25 years of marriage. My sister caught him (at last) cheating on her. After the divorce he married one of his mistresses and then ensued the tug back and forth on the kids. Oldest son refused to have anything to do with his father, and all the kids were old enough to have their choice. Only the girls (also the two youngest) were ever prepared to even talk to their father. He was (is) a user who just wants someone at his beck and call.</p><p>Then his second wife died (cancer). Immediately he was round to see my sister, asking her to take him back. Luckily she had met someone else (at last). </p><p>But the wedding - my niece wanted her father there. I don't know why, he's a waste of space. But we respected that, we were polite and friendly to him. But he is even more a jerk than ever. He had a number or choice remarks to people, but perhaps the classic was the way he introduced his current lady - "she's the replacement for my second wife. But it's OK, at least she's not [minority group]". </p><p></p><p>Charming.</p><p></p><p>What I'm saying here - some people don't know how to behave, no matter how much time passes or what they endure. ExBIL was back behaving the nasty, mean ay he always had, and leaving nasty taste in people's mouths at what should have been a joyous occasion. Making crass, sexual remarks during the ceremony was a bit much too. </p><p></p><p>Some people don't change. And your ex is another in the same mould. </p><p></p><p>The best you can do is what my sister did - insulate yourself as much as possible and only deal with him where you must, and through channels as official as possible to reduce the need for personal interaction and opportunity for him to hurt you further.</p><p></p><p>If a friend of yours, someone you knew, started behaving this way, you would have legal recourse. He failed to leave after you asked him to; you have asked him t not come into your home and he keeps doing it. I think you have grounds for protection order, even if you have to start from scratch.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 386118, member: 1991"] We spent the weekend before last at my niece's wedding. She's about 40 and getting married for the first time. Her parents split up 25 years ago after 25 years of marriage. My sister caught him (at last) cheating on her. After the divorce he married one of his mistresses and then ensued the tug back and forth on the kids. Oldest son refused to have anything to do with his father, and all the kids were old enough to have their choice. Only the girls (also the two youngest) were ever prepared to even talk to their father. He was (is) a user who just wants someone at his beck and call. Then his second wife died (cancer). Immediately he was round to see my sister, asking her to take him back. Luckily she had met someone else (at last). But the wedding - my niece wanted her father there. I don't know why, he's a waste of space. But we respected that, we were polite and friendly to him. But he is even more a jerk than ever. He had a number or choice remarks to people, but perhaps the classic was the way he introduced his current lady - "she's the replacement for my second wife. But it's OK, at least she's not [minority group]". Charming. What I'm saying here - some people don't know how to behave, no matter how much time passes or what they endure. ExBIL was back behaving the nasty, mean ay he always had, and leaving nasty taste in people's mouths at what should have been a joyous occasion. Making crass, sexual remarks during the ceremony was a bit much too. Some people don't change. And your ex is another in the same mould. The best you can do is what my sister did - insulate yourself as much as possible and only deal with him where you must, and through channels as official as possible to reduce the need for personal interaction and opportunity for him to hurt you further. If a friend of yours, someone you knew, started behaving this way, you would have legal recourse. He failed to leave after you asked him to; you have asked him t not come into your home and he keeps doing it. I think you have grounds for protection order, even if you have to start from scratch. Marg [/QUOTE]
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