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scene with-the ex argh!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Farmwife" data-source="post: 386286" data-attributes="member: 8617"><p>I whole heartedly agree with hearts and roses. </p><p> </p><p>From my experience a protective order is complicated with a divorce decree as the protection order cannot supercede parental rights unless parent is a threat to child. Most protective order hearing judges don't want to touch a custody agreement with a 10 foot pole. Best bet is emergency hearing or injunction to modify custody. PITA!</p><p> </p><p>Document everything, you will need it. </p><p> </p><p>*You can text to your email addy to get printable copies of his abusive texts and harrasment.</p><p>*Document a history of his behavior and violations of your boundaries, also things he says or does to or around difficult child that are questionable. A simple date, time and description should do.</p><p>*Get written proof from whoever your daughter confided in that he bashes you.</p><p>*Document difficult child's moods and outbursts ect. in conjunction with events in her life. For my difficult child we do a simple smiley, flat or frowney face for a.m. noon and p.m. That's it, 3 simple faces a day to log his moods. HOWEVER when you match up more and more frowneys to days she sees ex...you have a demonstrable pattern. My difficult child used to fall apart on days we even mentioned his bio, not even in a negative way either.</p><p> </p><p>In a perfect world divorced parents should rise above their own drama and co-parent. In a perfect world kids should have free access to their non custodial parent. Well, let me be the first to tell you this aint a perfect world. I fought difficult child's meltdowns for 3 years over JUST my ex before I said, "hey wait a minute here, that's enough!" My ex has major issues that make difficult child's issues worse. Of course everyone thinks I am some sort of cold calculating she-beast for doing so but I had to draw the line. If ex contributed to difficult child's problems and wasn't going to be a part of the solution he had to go, and he did. His loss, we are better off now too. </p><p> </p><p>Your ex sounds like a bully just like my ex. The kind that uses manipulation, mind games, aggressive behavior and mini tantrums to control people. They wear you down just like a difficult child can where you are too weak to tell them to back the heck up.</p><p> </p><p>He also sounds like his behavior is demonstrably damaging to your difficult child, something I suspect the court would frown upon if you came forward with a lot of evidence against him. (documentation) Though you may not be able to push something as wonderful as supervised visits, which it sounds like he should have, you may be able to push family counseling since he clearly is not an effective parent. He is only going to damage your difficult child further. </p><p> </p><p>Seriously, what kind of sick piece of filth torments a poor seriously ill girl at the toy store knowing all along he will let her down and leave her torn up inside? She was just picked up from the hospital from hades in a miserable scene a couple weeks ago. Was the few moments of her happiness, smiles and enthusiasm for her Daddy and his stolen ego boost worth emotionally torturing her over a toy? I may sound dramatic but he really emotionally victimized a very vulnerable child. SHAME on him. I can only imagine how she feels. My daddy broke promises to me and I wasn't vulnerable like her...I still don't trust or like him decades later.</p><p> </p><p>Finally, although your husband has no business intervening on difficult child's behalf I have to be the one person who disagrees with keeping him out of things. A man, your ex, violated your husband's home, disrespected his wife and did all of it like a coward when he was away from home. If my ex pulled that on me my husband would tear him a new one, on my behalf alone, forget about difficult child. A man does not take kindly to another man getting macho like that with his lady on his turf. It's disrespectful and insulting. It's like a strange dog making tinkle in another dogs yard, even stupid animals know better. He should not do anything to make you look bad in the court BUT telling him he can't defend HIS WIFE essentially emasculates him. At a time when he feels pushed away because of difficult child issues this may just further alienate him, a nice way for the ex to cause you marital drama...<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/sick.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sick:" title="sick :sick:" data-shortname=":sick:" /></p><p> </p><p>I ditto the car accident idea. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Farmwife, post: 386286, member: 8617"] I whole heartedly agree with hearts and roses. From my experience a protective order is complicated with a divorce decree as the protection order cannot supercede parental rights unless parent is a threat to child. Most protective order hearing judges don't want to touch a custody agreement with a 10 foot pole. Best bet is emergency hearing or injunction to modify custody. PITA! Document everything, you will need it. *You can text to your email addy to get printable copies of his abusive texts and harrasment. *Document a history of his behavior and violations of your boundaries, also things he says or does to or around difficult child that are questionable. A simple date, time and description should do. *Get written proof from whoever your daughter confided in that he bashes you. *Document difficult child's moods and outbursts ect. in conjunction with events in her life. For my difficult child we do a simple smiley, flat or frowney face for a.m. noon and p.m. That's it, 3 simple faces a day to log his moods. HOWEVER when you match up more and more frowneys to days she sees ex...you have a demonstrable pattern. My difficult child used to fall apart on days we even mentioned his bio, not even in a negative way either. In a perfect world divorced parents should rise above their own drama and co-parent. In a perfect world kids should have free access to their non custodial parent. Well, let me be the first to tell you this aint a perfect world. I fought difficult child's meltdowns for 3 years over JUST my ex before I said, "hey wait a minute here, that's enough!" My ex has major issues that make difficult child's issues worse. Of course everyone thinks I am some sort of cold calculating she-beast for doing so but I had to draw the line. If ex contributed to difficult child's problems and wasn't going to be a part of the solution he had to go, and he did. His loss, we are better off now too. Your ex sounds like a bully just like my ex. The kind that uses manipulation, mind games, aggressive behavior and mini tantrums to control people. They wear you down just like a difficult child can where you are too weak to tell them to back the heck up. He also sounds like his behavior is demonstrably damaging to your difficult child, something I suspect the court would frown upon if you came forward with a lot of evidence against him. (documentation) Though you may not be able to push something as wonderful as supervised visits, which it sounds like he should have, you may be able to push family counseling since he clearly is not an effective parent. He is only going to damage your difficult child further. Seriously, what kind of sick piece of filth torments a poor seriously ill girl at the toy store knowing all along he will let her down and leave her torn up inside? She was just picked up from the hospital from hades in a miserable scene a couple weeks ago. Was the few moments of her happiness, smiles and enthusiasm for her Daddy and his stolen ego boost worth emotionally torturing her over a toy? I may sound dramatic but he really emotionally victimized a very vulnerable child. SHAME on him. I can only imagine how she feels. My daddy broke promises to me and I wasn't vulnerable like her...I still don't trust or like him decades later. Finally, although your husband has no business intervening on difficult child's behalf I have to be the one person who disagrees with keeping him out of things. A man, your ex, violated your husband's home, disrespected his wife and did all of it like a coward when he was away from home. If my ex pulled that on me my husband would tear him a new one, on my behalf alone, forget about difficult child. A man does not take kindly to another man getting macho like that with his lady on his turf. It's disrespectful and insulting. It's like a strange dog making tinkle in another dogs yard, even stupid animals know better. He should not do anything to make you look bad in the court BUT telling him he can't defend HIS WIFE essentially emasculates him. At a time when he feels pushed away because of difficult child issues this may just further alienate him, a nice way for the ex to cause you marital drama...:sick: I ditto the car accident idea. :winking: [/QUOTE]
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