Up all night,
It sounds like you are stuck in the role of ATM machine. It ia always hard to stop that..we can't imagine how our kids will manage if we aren't there to bail them out, we feel it somehow isn't fair to stop what they are used to , we think they will suddenly come to appreciate what we have done for them, and move forward wisely. That is the biggest myth of all.
What they learn from is having to do things and figure things out on their own.
I LOVE the posts that Headlights Mom has been listing..something like "setting boundaries doesn't mean limiting love."
Set some boundaries. Stop giving money...now. Don't send the angry text...it doesn't help. If you can withdraw the financing a little, that might help with your anger.
This relationship has become destructive to you...you can control that aspect of it.
MWM gave you really good advice.
Good luck. We are here to listen.
Echo
