Sorry you're going through this, and I definitely understand the anger over being treated so disrespectfully by your own child. To realize that, in their eyes, we're just suckers who they will lie to and con to get money is a very hard reality to look into. I've been there done that and I even got the T-shirt. You obviously need to guard your heart and your wallet in this situation.
The angry text won't help anything. It will just give him fuel to try to manipulate you and hubby even more. (This shows you don't love me. You never loved me. If you loved me you'd give me 10K. Poor me. Everything is your fault. BLAH BLAH BLAH).
Try to get on the same page with hubby- you say hubby co-signed car loan and Difficult Child called hubby for the 10K. Difficult Child knows who the softie is and will focus his attention there. If you send nasty text, Difficult Child could use it to drive a wedge between you and hubby. Set boundaries with hubby - if you give him more money, I'm setting up separate bank accounts to protect my finances. If you consign any more loans, I'll have to consider divorce to protect myself from your poor decisions.
And do what your conscience tells you is right to protect those grand babies.
Good luck and keep posting.
