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General Parenting
School and medication refusal. She's out of control
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 562937" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>You have played with this more than enough. Time to make her world stop until she complies. No tv, phone, music, no books but textbooks, take those things to a storage unit if you don't have doors strong enough and with strong enough locks to keep her out. No food she likes in the home until she cooperates, and at the first refusal of medications or school you call the school resource office (cop based at school) and/or the police. Take away the clothing she likes and dress her the way you want - and if it is uncomfortable, all the better. She can be nice and comfy when she is doing what she needs to do.</p><p></p><p>If this doesn't stop and stop NOW, send her to live with her father. yes, you don't like him. No, he may not be the greatest person or father. Yes, he will likely threaten to make it permanent. That is fine. The big deal NOW is to get medications and school accomplished and if you need to send her to her dad and have hm force the issue or decide medications are bad and live with her off of them, then that is what you need to do. It is what SHE NEEDS for you to do. I am rather sure that her dad will either force her to comply or attempt to send her back to you when she is too much trouble. She doesn't like him? Too bad, so sad. She can have what she wants when she does what she needs to do. Period.</p><p></p><p>I know how hard this is to follow through on. been there done that and it was ugly. BUT I don't regret it. You need to not be a friend or the parent she likes. That is not what is in her best interest. Letting her get away with this is not going to help her.</p><p></p><p>Of course the psychiatric hospital shouldn't be a threat. It is simply a fact that if she is manic or unstable then she needs care and the psychiatric hospital is where you get that. Period. Cops are also not a threat. They are what you do when someone breaks the law. Not going to school at her age is against the law. So you call the cops when she wont'go. not taking her medications is unhealthy and at 14 she is not old enough to make that decision. medications are one of the very few things that I did not have trouble with from Wiz. He was quite sure i would pill him like i did the cat. When he was bigger than I was, he knew I would come in at night and do it if it was needed. He also knew that if he hit me over medications I would figure out a way to tie his hands down when I needed to make him take medications. And if the taste was awful? Then you should have taken them with-o the struggle - they go down easier that way and you don't have the nasty taste.</p><p></p><p>Yes, this IS harsh. But it was just so important that he take his medications that I made double dang sure he knew that I would NEVER tolerate it and that I loved him enough to do the hard, harsh, most unfun things needed if they were in his best interest. </p><p></p><p>Please stop playing with this and use whatever you have to get her to go. Even if that breaks your heart and means she has to live with her father for a while. This should NOT be a threat, but I would calmly explain that you will do this unless she stops the refusal of medications and school and stops it for good. Give her a chance, and maybe she will choose to stop refusing. If not, follow through. If you don't follow through, don't even bring it up - you do tons more damage by giving chance after chance and not doing what you say you will do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 562937, member: 1233"] You have played with this more than enough. Time to make her world stop until she complies. No tv, phone, music, no books but textbooks, take those things to a storage unit if you don't have doors strong enough and with strong enough locks to keep her out. No food she likes in the home until she cooperates, and at the first refusal of medications or school you call the school resource office (cop based at school) and/or the police. Take away the clothing she likes and dress her the way you want - and if it is uncomfortable, all the better. She can be nice and comfy when she is doing what she needs to do. If this doesn't stop and stop NOW, send her to live with her father. yes, you don't like him. No, he may not be the greatest person or father. Yes, he will likely threaten to make it permanent. That is fine. The big deal NOW is to get medications and school accomplished and if you need to send her to her dad and have hm force the issue or decide medications are bad and live with her off of them, then that is what you need to do. It is what SHE NEEDS for you to do. I am rather sure that her dad will either force her to comply or attempt to send her back to you when she is too much trouble. She doesn't like him? Too bad, so sad. She can have what she wants when she does what she needs to do. Period. I know how hard this is to follow through on. been there done that and it was ugly. BUT I don't regret it. You need to not be a friend or the parent she likes. That is not what is in her best interest. Letting her get away with this is not going to help her. Of course the psychiatric hospital shouldn't be a threat. It is simply a fact that if she is manic or unstable then she needs care and the psychiatric hospital is where you get that. Period. Cops are also not a threat. They are what you do when someone breaks the law. Not going to school at her age is against the law. So you call the cops when she wont'go. not taking her medications is unhealthy and at 14 she is not old enough to make that decision. medications are one of the very few things that I did not have trouble with from Wiz. He was quite sure i would pill him like i did the cat. When he was bigger than I was, he knew I would come in at night and do it if it was needed. He also knew that if he hit me over medications I would figure out a way to tie his hands down when I needed to make him take medications. And if the taste was awful? Then you should have taken them with-o the struggle - they go down easier that way and you don't have the nasty taste. Yes, this IS harsh. But it was just so important that he take his medications that I made double dang sure he knew that I would NEVER tolerate it and that I loved him enough to do the hard, harsh, most unfun things needed if they were in his best interest. Please stop playing with this and use whatever you have to get her to go. Even if that breaks your heart and means she has to live with her father for a while. This should NOT be a threat, but I would calmly explain that you will do this unless she stops the refusal of medications and school and stops it for good. Give her a chance, and maybe she will choose to stop refusing. If not, follow through. If you don't follow through, don't even bring it up - you do tons more damage by giving chance after chance and not doing what you say you will do. [/QUOTE]
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School and medication refusal. She's out of control
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