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General Parenting
School motivation and consequences
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<blockquote data-quote="ggluvbug" data-source="post: 118144" data-attributes="member: 4285"><p>I wanted to share with you something that I am hoping is a bit of a breakthrough for us over the last 2 days. My son has been so oppositional for months and it has been getting worse. My son has had consequences for what not doing homework--go to bed if you don't do it and deal with the consequences of the classroom. My son hasn't done homework for 2 months. About 3 weeks ago, we started listening to Total Transformation, and my son was rebelling like heck with the responsibility being placed back on him. He hated it because I refused to argue with him on it. He knew the consequence, and if he chose the wrong one, he was in trouble with the teacher and he would face a consequence at home. At first, he was fighting and fighting and fighting. He was getting violent over it. Then, the last two nights, he did it all! Every last bit. I could hear him talking to himself about wanting to be responsible. He was also reminding himself that he couldn't do anything if he didn't do it. It started sinking in. Are my son's grades in the pits right now? Yes. But they would have been if I had begged and pleaded and sat with him for 3 hours every night as well. For my son, with ODD, he has to learn the conseqences of his own choices. He can choose to succeed and he can choose to fail. It is his choice. For too many years, I have held his hand too much and in the process, I think I have crippled him. He has rebelled so much since we have been changing the way things are presented to him, but over the last two days, I have seen tiny changes in him. And for the first time in months, he got the homework done. </p><p></p><p>Just my two cents......what works for mine may not work for others.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ggluvbug, post: 118144, member: 4285"] I wanted to share with you something that I am hoping is a bit of a breakthrough for us over the last 2 days. My son has been so oppositional for months and it has been getting worse. My son has had consequences for what not doing homework--go to bed if you don't do it and deal with the consequences of the classroom. My son hasn't done homework for 2 months. About 3 weeks ago, we started listening to Total Transformation, and my son was rebelling like heck with the responsibility being placed back on him. He hated it because I refused to argue with him on it. He knew the consequence, and if he chose the wrong one, he was in trouble with the teacher and he would face a consequence at home. At first, he was fighting and fighting and fighting. He was getting violent over it. Then, the last two nights, he did it all! Every last bit. I could hear him talking to himself about wanting to be responsible. He was also reminding himself that he couldn't do anything if he didn't do it. It started sinking in. Are my son's grades in the pits right now? Yes. But they would have been if I had begged and pleaded and sat with him for 3 hours every night as well. For my son, with ODD, he has to learn the conseqences of his own choices. He can choose to succeed and he can choose to fail. It is his choice. For too many years, I have held his hand too much and in the process, I think I have crippled him. He has rebelled so much since we have been changing the way things are presented to him, but over the last two days, I have seen tiny changes in him. And for the first time in months, he got the homework done. Just my two cents......what works for mine may not work for others. [/QUOTE]
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