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<blockquote data-quote="neednewtechnique" data-source="post: 173999" data-attributes="member: 3527"><p>It is interesting to hear you say this, becuase I remember that this is one of our biggest stressors in our house. Most of the time, if she has a fit and refuses to do something, I will take the time to do what has to be done to make her do it. but when company is coming and she knows that there is a timeline, she knows that if she throws a fit, I will give in and just do it because it has to be done and I don't have time to fight with her over it. Then the day turns into a nightmare and there is all this tension while company is visiting and she is in a bad mood. i really have gotten to the point where i don't discuss it with her anymore. when i know that there will be issues or arguments from her, i do not allow for conversation, i will make a list, hand it to her and tell her which things she is repsonsible for and when i expect them to be done, and she works until they are done. if she spends 2 hours vacuuming the living room and she is still vacuuming when company comes, then the company is directed to a different room when they arrive. for the most part, though, anyone who comes to our house has a pretty good understanding of our difficult child's situation, so they are very understanding and supportive of our methods too, even if we have to visit at the kitchen table for a while until she finishes up what she is doing. honestly, the only person i ever have a problem with in these situations is my husband, because he seems to think that everything has to be perfect before anyone comes into our house, but he also doesn't want to be the one to lift a finger to make it happen. i finally had to put my foot down with him as well, and just tell him that unless he decides to pitch in and help out, he doesn't get a say in the way i handle these situations!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="neednewtechnique, post: 173999, member: 3527"] It is interesting to hear you say this, becuase I remember that this is one of our biggest stressors in our house. Most of the time, if she has a fit and refuses to do something, I will take the time to do what has to be done to make her do it. but when company is coming and she knows that there is a timeline, she knows that if she throws a fit, I will give in and just do it because it has to be done and I don't have time to fight with her over it. Then the day turns into a nightmare and there is all this tension while company is visiting and she is in a bad mood. i really have gotten to the point where i don't discuss it with her anymore. when i know that there will be issues or arguments from her, i do not allow for conversation, i will make a list, hand it to her and tell her which things she is repsonsible for and when i expect them to be done, and she works until they are done. if she spends 2 hours vacuuming the living room and she is still vacuuming when company comes, then the company is directed to a different room when they arrive. for the most part, though, anyone who comes to our house has a pretty good understanding of our difficult child's situation, so they are very understanding and supportive of our methods too, even if we have to visit at the kitchen table for a while until she finishes up what she is doing. honestly, the only person i ever have a problem with in these situations is my husband, because he seems to think that everything has to be perfect before anyone comes into our house, but he also doesn't want to be the one to lift a finger to make it happen. i finally had to put my foot down with him as well, and just tell him that unless he decides to pitch in and help out, he doesn't get a say in the way i handle these situations! [/QUOTE]
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