Just keep swimming
New Member
<span style="color: #993399"> <span style='font-size: 11pt'> Hi Family,
I have been doing alot of thinking this morning on how I handled a situation with Aly yesterday. In the grand sceme of things, it really was a "Basket C" situation, but I have had it with her attitude of superiorness/deservedness (not a word, oh well)/entitelment.
Aly is on a recreation Track team. They had a practice yesterday afternoon to get ready for her first meet on Saturday. I always stay for practice, so was sitting in the stands with J watching. I had stopped by an AM/PM and got waters and some Sun Chips to keep J occupied.
Practice ended and Aly was all the way on the other side of the track and she was shrieking something at the top of her lungs. I thought she was hurt so I grabbed J and ran towards Aly. Then I could make out what she is screaming! :grrr:
"That's so not fair, J got chips and I didn't and my water is all gone. You are a horrid mom and I hate you!" All the other parents are looking at me like I was scum of the earth. I didn't even get the chance to say that there was a bag of chips in the car waiting for her along with a cold bottle of water.
I got over the parents being there and calmly told Aly that she had really made a poor choice in screaming at me without asking if there were more chips, politely, respectfully. She was still in flip out mode so I just took J's hand and started for the car.
Aly goes on to say how awful her life is. No one loves her, she has NO friends, I love J more than her, blah blah blah. I just calmly ask her to get in the car and buckle up.
I really wanted to turn around and pop her a good one, but stayed calm all the way home with her screaming for the blasted chips. I took J into the house and just let Aly scream in the car (she could get out if she wanted, she chose to stay in the car. I got her night medications out, her pj's, got the shower ready for her and asked her politely to get out of the car and into the shower and get ready for bed. She again flipped out "no fair, hate my life, blah blah blah". I reassured her that I loved her and that when she calms down we can have some snuggle/story time before bed.
She refused to shower, I ignored that and just had her take her medications and put on pj's. husband got home about then and I tried to get him up to speed on how "wonderful" our evening was going. She screams to husband that her life is no fun at all and that it is so not fair that she has to go to bed so early.
I calmly state that I will not put up with her rudeness and disrespectfulness any more and that was that. I did let her lie on the couch for a little while before putting her to bed.
This morning she was calmer, apologized for being rude, but in the next breath wanted the stupid chips. I said it made me feel sad that I was going to have to say NO, that all this is NOT about the chips but about her being so rude to me.
Today, now that I am sitting here alone, I am feeling guilty that it got to that point last night. But, I still stand strong with my choice of expecting respect from my child, it is the second rule in this house, just under NO VIOLENCE OF ANY KIND.
husband said he probably would have given her the chips, just to avoid a further scene. But he wasn't at the track, having her attack him with words without being given a chance to tell her her stuff was in the car.
Sorry this is so long. It is so beyond chips, this is something we have struggled with Aly forever, her sense of entitlement and disrespect.
Thanks for listening.
Vickie </span> </span>
I have been doing alot of thinking this morning on how I handled a situation with Aly yesterday. In the grand sceme of things, it really was a "Basket C" situation, but I have had it with her attitude of superiorness/deservedness (not a word, oh well)/entitelment.
Aly is on a recreation Track team. They had a practice yesterday afternoon to get ready for her first meet on Saturday. I always stay for practice, so was sitting in the stands with J watching. I had stopped by an AM/PM and got waters and some Sun Chips to keep J occupied.
Practice ended and Aly was all the way on the other side of the track and she was shrieking something at the top of her lungs. I thought she was hurt so I grabbed J and ran towards Aly. Then I could make out what she is screaming! :grrr:
"That's so not fair, J got chips and I didn't and my water is all gone. You are a horrid mom and I hate you!" All the other parents are looking at me like I was scum of the earth. I didn't even get the chance to say that there was a bag of chips in the car waiting for her along with a cold bottle of water.
I got over the parents being there and calmly told Aly that she had really made a poor choice in screaming at me without asking if there were more chips, politely, respectfully. She was still in flip out mode so I just took J's hand and started for the car.
Aly goes on to say how awful her life is. No one loves her, she has NO friends, I love J more than her, blah blah blah. I just calmly ask her to get in the car and buckle up.
I really wanted to turn around and pop her a good one, but stayed calm all the way home with her screaming for the blasted chips. I took J into the house and just let Aly scream in the car (she could get out if she wanted, she chose to stay in the car. I got her night medications out, her pj's, got the shower ready for her and asked her politely to get out of the car and into the shower and get ready for bed. She again flipped out "no fair, hate my life, blah blah blah". I reassured her that I loved her and that when she calms down we can have some snuggle/story time before bed.
She refused to shower, I ignored that and just had her take her medications and put on pj's. husband got home about then and I tried to get him up to speed on how "wonderful" our evening was going. She screams to husband that her life is no fun at all and that it is so not fair that she has to go to bed so early.
I calmly state that I will not put up with her rudeness and disrespectfulness any more and that was that. I did let her lie on the couch for a little while before putting her to bed.
This morning she was calmer, apologized for being rude, but in the next breath wanted the stupid chips. I said it made me feel sad that I was going to have to say NO, that all this is NOT about the chips but about her being so rude to me.
Today, now that I am sitting here alone, I am feeling guilty that it got to that point last night. But, I still stand strong with my choice of expecting respect from my child, it is the second rule in this house, just under NO VIOLENCE OF ANY KIND.
husband said he probably would have given her the chips, just to avoid a further scene. But he wasn't at the track, having her attack him with words without being given a chance to tell her her stuff was in the car.
Sorry this is so long. It is so beyond chips, this is something we have struggled with Aly forever, her sense of entitlement and disrespect.
Thanks for listening.
Vickie </span> </span>
