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Substance Abuse
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 713377" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Unfortunately that sense about marijuana is prevalent today, especially but not exclusively among our kids on this forum.</p><p></p><p>While we would hope that our children do not go down the tragic path of a parent, so often they do. I think they do so not just because of genetic proclivities but as a consequence of seeing and experiencing the downfall of a parent, and the sense of poor self-worth, abandonment, and trauma that comes from having a parent who self-destructed and carried their child with them *in spirit, or in fact.</p><p></p><p>The central problem for us is this, I think: There is not one thing we can do to change this. Thus we are traumatized by our own witnessing of all of this. Loving these kids, we are helpless to stop them. We ignore our own pain, focusing on theirs. We blame ourselves for not having stopped them; and even, for causing it all by our supposed lacks, faults, which we invent. And sometimes our kids are oh so willing to heap on. None of this is true.</p><p></p><p>I urge you to begin to focus upon your own needs and well-being. The most meaningful and effective intervention for your child will come from his own efforts, and experiencing the consequences of his choices.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry for the pain of this. Unfortunately, you are not alone in this. Welcome. Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 713377, member: 18958"] Unfortunately that sense about marijuana is prevalent today, especially but not exclusively among our kids on this forum. While we would hope that our children do not go down the tragic path of a parent, so often they do. I think they do so not just because of genetic proclivities but as a consequence of seeing and experiencing the downfall of a parent, and the sense of poor self-worth, abandonment, and trauma that comes from having a parent who self-destructed and carried their child with them *in spirit, or in fact. The central problem for us is this, I think: There is not one thing we can do to change this. Thus we are traumatized by our own witnessing of all of this. Loving these kids, we are helpless to stop them. We ignore our own pain, focusing on theirs. We blame ourselves for not having stopped them; and even, for causing it all by our supposed lacks, faults, which we invent. And sometimes our kids are oh so willing to heap on. None of this is true. I urge you to begin to focus upon your own needs and well-being. The most meaningful and effective intervention for your child will come from his own efforts, and experiencing the consequences of his choices. I am sorry for the pain of this. Unfortunately, you are not alone in this. Welcome. Take care. [/QUOTE]
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