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Substance Abuse
Seeing the Paths of our Difficult Children in a Positive Light
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 673082" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Yes Insane, I often do not go through the forums, the mobile version of this board just shows recent posts and I use my phone most of the time. I cannot remember now but it is very likely I replied through the mobile app. Leafy I was actually agreeing with your thoughts, that those of us who deal with substance abuse have to find the good things about our difficult children otherwise it would be very difficult to survive and help them through the rehab process. We are good at identifying the reason they are so hateful and their behavior so ugly, hurtful, even criminal. We go through so many extreme emotions, sometimes even hatred for who they have become, one of the reasons why the SA forum is so important, we need a safe place to vent and express our feelings without being judged. In our rational moments we understand it is not them that we hate but the drugs that cause them to act that way.</p><p></p><p>I do think that substance abuse is different than other difficult children issues. I have been through both, having had a difficult child since about 2 years old, and then developing into substance abuse at around age 14. It was then that I had to face that she may die, that I could not help her. The fear that I felt as she went missing so many times, the intense hatred I felt towards the people who polluted her with drugs, the guy who told me that he now owned her, the strip club that she began working in....it all drove me mad, someone that I didn't like anymore. And through it all I knew all I wanted to do was help her because I knew what she was like when the drugs and alcohol did not consumer her.</p><p></p><p>I guess what I was saying is that substance abuse reminds us all the time that we have to find the good in our loved ones.</p><p></p><p>I did not think I was saying anything different that you were leafy, maybe just differently and perhaps I did not do that well.</p><p></p><p>A good reminder that even in our haste in answering we need to be careful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 673082, member: 59"] Yes Insane, I often do not go through the forums, the mobile version of this board just shows recent posts and I use my phone most of the time. I cannot remember now but it is very likely I replied through the mobile app. Leafy I was actually agreeing with your thoughts, that those of us who deal with substance abuse have to find the good things about our difficult children otherwise it would be very difficult to survive and help them through the rehab process. We are good at identifying the reason they are so hateful and their behavior so ugly, hurtful, even criminal. We go through so many extreme emotions, sometimes even hatred for who they have become, one of the reasons why the SA forum is so important, we need a safe place to vent and express our feelings without being judged. In our rational moments we understand it is not them that we hate but the drugs that cause them to act that way. I do think that substance abuse is different than other difficult children issues. I have been through both, having had a difficult child since about 2 years old, and then developing into substance abuse at around age 14. It was then that I had to face that she may die, that I could not help her. The fear that I felt as she went missing so many times, the intense hatred I felt towards the people who polluted her with drugs, the guy who told me that he now owned her, the strip club that she began working in....it all drove me mad, someone that I didn't like anymore. And through it all I knew all I wanted to do was help her because I knew what she was like when the drugs and alcohol did not consumer her. I guess what I was saying is that substance abuse reminds us all the time that we have to find the good in our loved ones. I did not think I was saying anything different that you were leafy, maybe just differently and perhaps I did not do that well. A good reminder that even in our haste in answering we need to be careful. [/QUOTE]
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