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Substance Abuse
Seeing the Paths of our Difficult Children in a Positive Light
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 673143" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Okay, I am breaking my word that I would not post in SA until after the weekend, so I could reflect, and things could cool down a bit.</p><p></p><p>I do not like to break my word, my dad always said, be a man of your word. (<em>I was the tomboy of the bunch</em>).</p><p></p><p>I feel a kuleana, a responsibility here, because I am the one who stirred all of this up with my comment.</p><p></p><p>So, I will break my word.</p><p></p><p>And go out on a limb.....well, after all I am "New Leaf".</p><p></p><p>My statement has created conflict. Conflict is a part of life, uncomfortable, I do not like it, but none the less, a part of life.</p><p></p><p>Here is the statement-</p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">"One reply mentioned "those of<em> us </em>in SA"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">I was a bit taken aback by it, it felt kind of exclusionary.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px">I am sorry, for my honesty in writing of this, it may be my rawness, in the throes of it all."</span></p><p></p><p>I am deeply sorry for this statement hurting Nancy, Kathy and possibly others.</p><p>I was not thinking from a empathic viewpoint when I wrote it, I was feeling very raw, had woken from a deep sleep, troubled, and sick with the flu.</p><p></p><p>May I explain further, without more repercussions, what I was trying to express in my words, my <em>feelings. </em>Please understand, I am not trying to drag this on, I truly wish it to stop.</p><p>Here goes;</p><p>I am a very sensitive person, I have been working on that , trying to be stronger. The <em>us,</em> thing, got to me. It is because I have forever been a <em>them</em>, with my FOO, with my feelings of low-self esteem, with being a minority race and the racism that can be attached to it, even in the land of aloha. I am a <em>them. </em>I am a <em>them</em>, when I sit in the lunchroom and folks talk about their wonderful <em>un</em>-d cs.</p><p>In my thread on SA, I am an <em>us, (</em>geez, I so wish I wasn't), but I am. I am an <em>us</em> affected, no<em> infected </em>with my d cs drug use and the resulting domino affect on <em>everything</em>.</p><p></p><p>My point in posting the thread in SA after seeing Frankls video, seemed an exciting epiphany for me, that I just had to share, because it I thought it would be a <em>great </em>tool, for myself and others.</p><p></p><p>My truthful honest expression within my long post, that groggy early morning, hurt Nancy, and I am sorry for it. </p><p>Sorry, so sorry Nancy,</p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/sorrysmiley.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sorrysmiley:" title="sorrysmiley :sorrysmiley:" data-shortname=":sorrysmiley:" /></p><p></p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]gBEI1F22uqE[/MEDIA]</p><p></p><p>I was not trying to be hurtful or divisive, just <em>expressing. </em>In that, I need to be more cautious, and have more compassion, fellow feeling, that in my<em> not</em> reserving my answers, <em>not</em> thinking <em>more</em> before I write, I have hurt someone else.</p><p></p><p>I have missed the very mark Frankl was sharing about.</p><p></p><p>Instead of seeing what Nancy's response was, in a positive light, I went to <em>my own depths of self doubt</em>, shame and fear, self sensitivity, I forgot to be careful of stepping on another's toes, while expressing sentiment.</p><p></p><p><em>It is my fault, I will take full responsibility for it.</em></p><p></p><p>Whatever has happened in these posts, has happened, the words cannot be undone. Whatever has happened in the past, cannot be undone.</p><p></p><p>I would imagine that things can get a little touchy and testy at times, with the enormity of the issues people are suffering from, and the lack of ability to express with spoken word, facial expression and gesturing.</p><p></p><p>It is very easy for typed words to be misconstrued.</p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #0000ff">Now I beg all of us to stop, reflect in the positive, and take a deep breath.</span></span></p><p><em></em></p><p><em><span style="font-size: 18px"><span style="color: #336600">This is a soft place for battle weary parents to land.</span></span></em></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">I am very very thankful for all of you on CD. All of these forums are so valid in parents lives, each connecting with one another on the journeys they face.</span></p><p> <span style="font-size: 15px">In the challenge with difficult children there is no degree or category above or beyond the other. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">A parents pain for their child, is their pain. I am very thankful there is an avenue here to express that pain, and search for meaning, purpose and joy.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p>Can we all view these the posts that are coming from wonderful, thoughtful, amazing, heartfelt people, expressing their thoughts from<em> their own perspective</em>, in a positive light?</p><p></p><p>Can we remove imaginings of exclusion (leafy), or the mention of it, or thoughts of divisiveness and view each other and our words as Frankl taught,</p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>P<span style="font-size: 15px">resupposing<em> all of </em>-<em>US- </em>in our search for meaning and purpose in a positive way.</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></strong></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">My lovely, lovely friends, it is almost Thanksgiving. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">I do hope and wish for a peaceful, joy-filled holiday for each and every one of us.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Thank you all for allowing me to express myself.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">As the song says</span></p><p></p><p>Thankful</p><p></p><p>Somedays, we forget to look around us,</p><p>Somedays, we can't see the joy that surrounds us,</p><p>So caught up inside ourselves,</p><p>We take when we should give,</p><p>So for tonight we pray for,</p><p>What we know can be,</p><p>And on this day we hope for,</p><p>What we still can't see,</p><p>It's up to us, to be the change,</p><p>And even though we all can still do more,</p><p>There's so much to be thankful for,</p><p>Look beyond ourselves,</p><p>There's so much sorrow,</p><p>It's way to late to say, I'll cry tomorrow</p><p>Each of us must find our truth,</p><p>It's so long overdue,</p><p>So for tonight we pray for,</p><p></p><p>What we know can be,</p><p>And everyday, we hope for,</p><p>What we still can't see,</p><p>It's up to us, to be the change,</p><p>And even though we all can still do more,</p><p>There's so much to be thankful for,</p><p>Even with our differences,</p><p>There is a place we're all connected,</p><p>Each of us can find each others light,</p><p>So for tonight, we pray for</p><p>What we know can be,</p><p>And on this day, we hope for,</p><p>What we still can't see,</p><p>It's up to us, to be the change,</p><p>And even though this world needs so much more</p><p>There's so much to be thankful for.</p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">My heart felt Mahalo</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">leafy</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 673143, member: 19522"] Okay, I am breaking my word that I would not post in SA until after the weekend, so I could reflect, and things could cool down a bit. I do not like to break my word, my dad always said, be a man of your word. ([I]I was the tomboy of the bunch[/I]). I feel a kuleana, a responsibility here, because I am the one who stirred all of this up with my comment. So, I will break my word. And go out on a limb.....well, after all I am "New Leaf". My statement has created conflict. Conflict is a part of life, uncomfortable, I do not like it, but none the less, a part of life. Here is the statement- [SIZE=3]"One reply mentioned "those of[I] us [/I]in SA" I was a bit taken aback by it, it felt kind of exclusionary. I am sorry, for my honesty in writing of this, it may be my rawness, in the throes of it all."[/SIZE] I am deeply sorry for this statement hurting Nancy, Kathy and possibly others. I was not thinking from a empathic viewpoint when I wrote it, I was feeling very raw, had woken from a deep sleep, troubled, and sick with the flu. May I explain further, without more repercussions, what I was trying to express in my words, my [I]feelings. [/I]Please understand, I am not trying to drag this on, I truly wish it to stop. Here goes; I am a very sensitive person, I have been working on that , trying to be stronger. The [I]us,[/I] thing, got to me. It is because I have forever been a [I]them[/I], with my FOO, with my feelings of low-self esteem, with being a minority race and the racism that can be attached to it, even in the land of aloha. I am a [I]them. [/I]I am a [I]them[/I], when I sit in the lunchroom and folks talk about their wonderful [I]un[/I]-d cs. In my thread on SA, I am an [I]us, ([/I]geez, I so wish I wasn't), but I am. I am an [I]us[/I] affected, no[I] infected [/I]with my d cs drug use and the resulting domino affect on [I]everything[/I]. My point in posting the thread in SA after seeing Frankls video, seemed an exciting epiphany for me, that I just had to share, because it I thought it would be a [I]great [/I]tool, for myself and others. My truthful honest expression within my long post, that groggy early morning, hurt Nancy, and I am sorry for it. Sorry, so sorry Nancy, :sorrysmiley: [MEDIA=youtube]gBEI1F22uqE[/MEDIA] I was not trying to be hurtful or divisive, just [I]expressing. [/I]In that, I need to be more cautious, and have more compassion, fellow feeling, that in my[I] not[/I] reserving my answers, [I]not[/I] thinking [I]more[/I] before I write, I have hurt someone else. I have missed the very mark Frankl was sharing about. Instead of seeing what Nancy's response was, in a positive light, I went to [I]my own depths of self doubt[/I], shame and fear, self sensitivity, I forgot to be careful of stepping on another's toes, while expressing sentiment. [I]It is my fault, I will take full responsibility for it.[/I] Whatever has happened in these posts, has happened, the words cannot be undone. Whatever has happened in the past, cannot be undone. I would imagine that things can get a little touchy and testy at times, with the enormity of the issues people are suffering from, and the lack of ability to express with spoken word, facial expression and gesturing. It is very easy for typed words to be misconstrued. [SIZE=4][COLOR=#0000ff]Now I beg all of us to stop, reflect in the positive, and take a deep breath.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [I] [SIZE=5][COLOR=#336600]This is a soft place for battle weary parents to land.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/I] [SIZE=4] I am very very thankful for all of you on CD. All of these forums are so valid in parents lives, each connecting with one another on the journeys they face. In the challenge with difficult children there is no degree or category above or beyond the other. A parents pain for their child, is their pain. I am very thankful there is an avenue here to express that pain, and search for meaning, purpose and joy. [/SIZE] Can we all view these the posts that are coming from wonderful, thoughtful, amazing, heartfelt people, expressing their thoughts from[I] their own perspective[/I], in a positive light? Can we remove imaginings of exclusion (leafy), or the mention of it, or thoughts of divisiveness and view each other and our words as Frankl taught, [B] P[SIZE=4]resupposing[I] all of [/I]-[I]US- [/I]in our search for meaning and purpose in a positive way. [/SIZE][/B] [SIZE=4]My lovely, lovely friends, it is almost Thanksgiving. I do hope and wish for a peaceful, joy-filled holiday for each and every one of us. Thank you all for allowing me to express myself. As the song says[/SIZE] Thankful Somedays, we forget to look around us, Somedays, we can't see the joy that surrounds us, So caught up inside ourselves, We take when we should give, So for tonight we pray for, What we know can be, And on this day we hope for, What we still can't see, It's up to us, to be the change, And even though we all can still do more, There's so much to be thankful for, Look beyond ourselves, There's so much sorrow, It's way to late to say, I'll cry tomorrow Each of us must find our truth, It's so long overdue, So for tonight we pray for, What we know can be, And everyday, we hope for, What we still can't see, It's up to us, to be the change, And even though we all can still do more, There's so much to be thankful for, Even with our differences, There is a place we're all connected, Each of us can find each others light, So for tonight, we pray for What we know can be, And on this day, we hope for, What we still can't see, It's up to us, to be the change, And even though this world needs so much more There's so much to be thankful for. [SIZE=4] My heart felt Mahalo leafy [/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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