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Substance Abuse
Seeing therapist Friday
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 533136" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>(((((hugs)))))</p><p></p><p>The stories told about crimes that don't make sense are what my dad calls 'woofin', meaning he is barking to show how tough he is. HE feels weak and thinks he needs that to make sure people don't try to run over him. I bet he told them to you to try to get you to stop pushing him to do something by making you think he is big and bad and might hurt you - after all, look what he did to them??? Or to get sympathy for how "hard' it is to survive if Mommy cuts you off. He has to do "THAT!" when you are supporting him, so what will he 'have' to do if you don't? </p><p></p><p>they tell the lies in group or AA for several reasons, 1 being to show they are tough, 2 being to 'fit in' and 3 being because they still have not accepted the need to be HONEST if they want to get and stay sober. They don't really want to, so they keep lying. Then they feel bad, so they use to cover up the lies. There are other reasons, many, but those are the biggies.</p><p></p><p>Making him get a job is exactly the right thing to do. do NOT stay away from services offered to you at the rehab. DO NOT. It is much better for HIS recovery if you are there, partly because they will know his lies and can push him to be honest. They can confront him on his lies and he doesn't wnat this so he is saying that if you go there then he will use and it will be your fault.</p><p></p><p>IT WILL NEVER BE YOUR FAULT THAT HE USES. Well, unless you hold him down and pour it into him or his vein or whatever with a gun to his head. But that won't happen so ... </p><p></p><p>Also when the parent and/or family gets help, the addict has a 30% better chance of staying sober. 30% is a LOT. Don't let him run you away from therapy. he thinks you won't enable or be codep on him if you get help and then it will be much harder for him to use. this is a HUGE reason he wants you FAR from the rehab. Don't buy this BS from him.</p><p></p><p>Kudos for going to the therapist, and I hope you continue to see him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 533136, member: 1233"] (((((hugs))))) The stories told about crimes that don't make sense are what my dad calls 'woofin', meaning he is barking to show how tough he is. HE feels weak and thinks he needs that to make sure people don't try to run over him. I bet he told them to you to try to get you to stop pushing him to do something by making you think he is big and bad and might hurt you - after all, look what he did to them??? Or to get sympathy for how "hard' it is to survive if Mommy cuts you off. He has to do "THAT!" when you are supporting him, so what will he 'have' to do if you don't? they tell the lies in group or AA for several reasons, 1 being to show they are tough, 2 being to 'fit in' and 3 being because they still have not accepted the need to be HONEST if they want to get and stay sober. They don't really want to, so they keep lying. Then they feel bad, so they use to cover up the lies. There are other reasons, many, but those are the biggies. Making him get a job is exactly the right thing to do. do NOT stay away from services offered to you at the rehab. DO NOT. It is much better for HIS recovery if you are there, partly because they will know his lies and can push him to be honest. They can confront him on his lies and he doesn't wnat this so he is saying that if you go there then he will use and it will be your fault. IT WILL NEVER BE YOUR FAULT THAT HE USES. Well, unless you hold him down and pour it into him or his vein or whatever with a gun to his head. But that won't happen so ... Also when the parent and/or family gets help, the addict has a 30% better chance of staying sober. 30% is a LOT. Don't let him run you away from therapy. he thinks you won't enable or be codep on him if you get help and then it will be much harder for him to use. this is a HUGE reason he wants you FAR from the rehab. Don't buy this BS from him. Kudos for going to the therapist, and I hope you continue to see him. [/QUOTE]
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