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Substance Abuse
Seeing therapist Friday
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<blockquote data-quote="AmericanGirl" data-source="post: 533799"><p>I'm writing some of the key things I learned from the therapist in the hopes it might help someone else. </p><p></p><p>1. When I objected to difficult child calling an ex-using pal (even if they were discussing rehab), the way the therapist approached it with him is to say, "You know what it feels like to be triggered?" difficult child says "Yes". Therapist says, "Well you talking to him triggers her." What I got out of that is to learn more about the language of recovery.</p><p></p><p>2. Therapist explained to me that it wasn't time for me and difficult child to address our relationship. difficult child has to work on himself, and only then can he work on the two of us.</p><p></p><p>3. I asked why I wasn't asked to come and meet with them to explain to difficult child how his addiction hurt me (which is normal at this facility), therapist looks at difficult child and asked if he was ready for that. difficult child says "Not yet." Then it was explained to me that he wasn't strong enough to handle my anger. He isn't strong enough yet to handle his own anger.</p><p></p><p>4. We discovered in talking that when difficult child shared with me more details of what he was doing for his recovery, that it lessened my fears. His belief was that I didn't want to hear about it. Noooo, the more details I know, the less I wonder. So, he will now be talking more about it to me.</p><p></p><p>Finally, I read some of the things difficult child has written while in php. Some were very raw. While painful to read, it does show progress.</p><p></p><p>One day at a time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AmericanGirl, post: 533799"] I'm writing some of the key things I learned from the therapist in the hopes it might help someone else. 1. When I objected to difficult child calling an ex-using pal (even if they were discussing rehab), the way the therapist approached it with him is to say, "You know what it feels like to be triggered?" difficult child says "Yes". Therapist says, "Well you talking to him triggers her." What I got out of that is to learn more about the language of recovery. 2. Therapist explained to me that it wasn't time for me and difficult child to address our relationship. difficult child has to work on himself, and only then can he work on the two of us. 3. I asked why I wasn't asked to come and meet with them to explain to difficult child how his addiction hurt me (which is normal at this facility), therapist looks at difficult child and asked if he was ready for that. difficult child says "Not yet." Then it was explained to me that he wasn't strong enough to handle my anger. He isn't strong enough yet to handle his own anger. 4. We discovered in talking that when difficult child shared with me more details of what he was doing for his recovery, that it lessened my fears. His belief was that I didn't want to hear about it. Noooo, the more details I know, the less I wonder. So, he will now be talking more about it to me. Finally, I read some of the things difficult child has written while in php. Some were very raw. While painful to read, it does show progress. One day at a time. [/QUOTE]
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