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General Parenting
Seeking advice/agreement about 9 yo step-daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="TeDo" data-source="post: 461579"><p>You have come to the right place. I think you need to put away the DSM and replace it with The Explosive Child as well as What The Explosive Child Is Trying To Tell You. I would also have her evaluated (without grandma) by a neuropsychologist. If that isn't feasible, or at least in the meantime, get her to a Child Psychiatrist. Get the ball moving in the right directlion before it gets out of control.</p><p></p><p>Now, the dreaded questions (sorry). Do you notice any patterns in what happens RIGHT BEFORE the behavior? How does she do with changes in routine or last minute changes in plans? Is she in school? Does she have any difficulties there? Does the word "no" in itself trigger behaviors? Did she meet all her developmental milestones ON TIME? Does anyone on either side of her family tree have diagnosed or suspected but undiagnosed mental health issues?</p><p></p><p>As for grandma, IGNORE her. I have lived with my mother telling me that there is nothing wrong with my son except that I baby him so that's why he is the way he is. When I told her about the diagnosis, she told me I was lying and she wanted to hear it from difficult child's psychiatrist. But, when I was in therapy because of her, she called my psychiatrist and therapist quacks when they began questioning HER about her behavior. I drew the line when she undermined me by disciplining my difficult child in an unproductive manner right in front of me. I avoid her as much as I can (1x month) even though she is their only grandparent and we live in the same small town. I am the parent of MY children and I will raise them as I see fit and her opinions are only her opinions. I have nothing to prove to her.</p><p></p><p>Welcome to our "family". You will learn a lot and get lots of advice ad support here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TeDo, post: 461579"] You have come to the right place. I think you need to put away the DSM and replace it with The Explosive Child as well as What The Explosive Child Is Trying To Tell You. I would also have her evaluated (without grandma) by a neuropsychologist. If that isn't feasible, or at least in the meantime, get her to a Child Psychiatrist. Get the ball moving in the right directlion before it gets out of control. Now, the dreaded questions (sorry). Do you notice any patterns in what happens RIGHT BEFORE the behavior? How does she do with changes in routine or last minute changes in plans? Is she in school? Does she have any difficulties there? Does the word "no" in itself trigger behaviors? Did she meet all her developmental milestones ON TIME? Does anyone on either side of her family tree have diagnosed or suspected but undiagnosed mental health issues? As for grandma, IGNORE her. I have lived with my mother telling me that there is nothing wrong with my son except that I baby him so that's why he is the way he is. When I told her about the diagnosis, she told me I was lying and she wanted to hear it from difficult child's psychiatrist. But, when I was in therapy because of her, she called my psychiatrist and therapist quacks when they began questioning HER about her behavior. I drew the line when she undermined me by disciplining my difficult child in an unproductive manner right in front of me. I avoid her as much as I can (1x month) even though she is their only grandparent and we live in the same small town. I am the parent of MY children and I will raise them as I see fit and her opinions are only her opinions. I have nothing to prove to her. Welcome to our "family". You will learn a lot and get lots of advice ad support here. [/QUOTE]
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Seeking advice/agreement about 9 yo step-daughter
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