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Seeking advice on eviction or rental
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<blockquote data-quote="Heloise" data-source="post: 410302"><p>Hello susiestar,</p><p> </p><p>It is my husband's ex who is the criticizer.</p><p> </p><p>When my daughter is irrational, it has been bad enough that I had her arrested twice. The arrests came after many years of assaults, when she was finally too big for me to outmanuver her any more. The first arrest I didn't press charges, even though she had me in lock hold after a major kick in the shin. The second time I was obligated to press charges because it was the second time, and that involved thrusting me into a closed door to produce a bruised rib. The assaults began shortly after she arrived in our home at 3 and 1/2. If I had to put a number on the assaults where she aimed at me and made contact, I would say 40 or more. The number of times she threw something and missed, 20. The number of times she has muscled me out of her way in a room or the hall, I would say 300 or more. Gruesome verbal threats, numerous. Generalized creepy verbal threats, more numerous. Pantomimed threats, several. Helping her with homework and having her aim her pencil at my eye without it leaving her hand, 150. When she was younger, kicking my carseat from the back while I was driving, 50. Recently telling me, while cocking her brother's old paint gun she found under a bed, that she is interested in doing a little research on paint guns with a creepy look on her face to evoke a reaction from me, once (I took the gun away). Property damage has been pronounced --holes in walls, broke the glass in the kitchen door, scraped the car, gouged a new handrail with a knife, shattered our bedroom lamp, destroyed her artwork displayed in the dining room -- these were all intentional. Then there is the damage that occurs when she just slams things and sweeps things off surfaces. The animals -- when she was younger, she slammed the cat into an interior wall. In a rational state, she can very affectionate with the cat and the dog; in an irrational state, she can take one hostage during an argument (pretending to protect them from me, cooing an apology to them), be unnecessarily rough with them, be very jealous of them, and very critical of them saying we treat them way too well.</p><p> </p><p>Yes, I've looked into what eviction entails. She's been served, we've had our waiting period, I would next go to court file a demurrer and get a hearing, after which we change the locks and give her 24 hours to collect her things, after which we would set them out if she hadn't collected them.</p><p> </p><p>I would also note that in her irrational state she is very nihilistic, talks about dying to an abnormal degree, and talks about fearing the pain. (She has made no real attempt at suiicide; she used to threaten it from time to time to watch me squirm. When her one boyfriend finally broke things off, she posted a suicide note on Facebook that generated calls from concerned strangers.) She used to talk about the possibility of committiing a crime that could entitle her to be in jail to get the meals and a place to stay. If she contemplates being assaulted, she envisions fighting back. She has involved herself in a cult that predicts the end is next year, a point she explains in unpleasant detail quite a bit when she is in an irrational state. I will say, there are times I just put headphones on to convey I am not listening. </p><p> </p><p>She already left home for two months this past fall and lived with cult members. I tended to hear from her on nearly a daily basis. Also, the times when she lives at home and goes to the cult, she travels by bike and the return trip is five miles in the dark after midnight. We have some experience under our belt in not knowing where she is.</p><p> </p><p>Excellent reminder about having her sign any lease. I will say that husband and I were thinking it would add to the appeal for a landlord knowing that we would be paying the rent. I like your point better, though. She is not interested in making any effort to find a reantal place, although she talks constantly about her desire to move out.</p><p> </p><p>Yes, we are familiar with the Explosive Child by Ross Greene. I love the do to get concept. Our daughter has been rather nihilistic from the beginning, and has long forgone getting things if the requirement was doing something.</p><p> </p><p>I hope this has illuminated our situation better.</p><p> </p><p>Appreciate your post and look forward to any additional thoughts,</p><p> </p><p>Heloise</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Heloise, post: 410302"] Hello susiestar, It is my husband's ex who is the criticizer. When my daughter is irrational, it has been bad enough that I had her arrested twice. The arrests came after many years of assaults, when she was finally too big for me to outmanuver her any more. The first arrest I didn't press charges, even though she had me in lock hold after a major kick in the shin. The second time I was obligated to press charges because it was the second time, and that involved thrusting me into a closed door to produce a bruised rib. The assaults began shortly after she arrived in our home at 3 and 1/2. If I had to put a number on the assaults where she aimed at me and made contact, I would say 40 or more. The number of times she threw something and missed, 20. The number of times she has muscled me out of her way in a room or the hall, I would say 300 or more. Gruesome verbal threats, numerous. Generalized creepy verbal threats, more numerous. Pantomimed threats, several. Helping her with homework and having her aim her pencil at my eye without it leaving her hand, 150. When she was younger, kicking my carseat from the back while I was driving, 50. Recently telling me, while cocking her brother's old paint gun she found under a bed, that she is interested in doing a little research on paint guns with a creepy look on her face to evoke a reaction from me, once (I took the gun away). Property damage has been pronounced --holes in walls, broke the glass in the kitchen door, scraped the car, gouged a new handrail with a knife, shattered our bedroom lamp, destroyed her artwork displayed in the dining room -- these were all intentional. Then there is the damage that occurs when she just slams things and sweeps things off surfaces. The animals -- when she was younger, she slammed the cat into an interior wall. In a rational state, she can very affectionate with the cat and the dog; in an irrational state, she can take one hostage during an argument (pretending to protect them from me, cooing an apology to them), be unnecessarily rough with them, be very jealous of them, and very critical of them saying we treat them way too well. Yes, I've looked into what eviction entails. She's been served, we've had our waiting period, I would next go to court file a demurrer and get a hearing, after which we change the locks and give her 24 hours to collect her things, after which we would set them out if she hadn't collected them. I would also note that in her irrational state she is very nihilistic, talks about dying to an abnormal degree, and talks about fearing the pain. (She has made no real attempt at suiicide; she used to threaten it from time to time to watch me squirm. When her one boyfriend finally broke things off, she posted a suicide note on Facebook that generated calls from concerned strangers.) She used to talk about the possibility of committiing a crime that could entitle her to be in jail to get the meals and a place to stay. If she contemplates being assaulted, she envisions fighting back. She has involved herself in a cult that predicts the end is next year, a point she explains in unpleasant detail quite a bit when she is in an irrational state. I will say, there are times I just put headphones on to convey I am not listening. She already left home for two months this past fall and lived with cult members. I tended to hear from her on nearly a daily basis. Also, the times when she lives at home and goes to the cult, she travels by bike and the return trip is five miles in the dark after midnight. We have some experience under our belt in not knowing where she is. Excellent reminder about having her sign any lease. I will say that husband and I were thinking it would add to the appeal for a landlord knowing that we would be paying the rent. I like your point better, though. She is not interested in making any effort to find a reantal place, although she talks constantly about her desire to move out. Yes, we are familiar with the Explosive Child by Ross Greene. I love the do to get concept. Our daughter has been rather nihilistic from the beginning, and has long forgone getting things if the requirement was doing something. I hope this has illuminated our situation better. Appreciate your post and look forward to any additional thoughts, Heloise [/QUOTE]
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