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Seeking advice on inspiring difficult child to job hunt
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 360017" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Tell her that since she is now an adult that she MUST pay rent to continue living with you. Give her an amount. Do NOT tell her that you will make her leave if you will not. You CAN tell her that the kitchen and food will be off limits (even if you must put a chain around the fridge!) as will be the hot water and air conditioning for her room. Close the vent to her room so that the a/c does not go into there. Put a chain on the fridge. turn off the shut-off valve to the hot water in her bathroom.</p><p></p><p>You can be creative. I am sure new clothes, jewelry, snacks, magazines, music, etc... are wanted. No job, no stuff. </p><p></p><p>Also, tell her you will turn off the internet if she doesn't pay her rent. She wants to skype with that guy, she can get a job and earn it. Is the computer hers or the family one (ie yours)? If it is hers you cannot take it away. You can go to your router (if you have wireless) and deny access to her computer. If she is plugged into the wall for a hard-wired network system, take the cord away. If she is using your computer, put a lock on the door of the room it is in AND take the keyboard and mouse with you. Keep them in your trunk. </p><p></p><p>that way if she wants to chat with that guy she MUST go get a job and pay rent. Rent doesn't have to be a lot. Just something to help her learn to be responsible. You can use the money for the house or if you want to you could put it in a savings account NOT in her name and let it grow. Then if you need to help her move or sign a lease you can use that money. </p><p></p><p>Just be SURE that you put an agreement IN WRITING that says if at any time she violates your rules, steals from you, is discovered to be using drugs, or refuses to get a job then she will have 2 weeks to move out. BOTH of you sign it. TWO copies. One goes in your file. That way if at some point you are ready to throw her out then you won't have to do a formal eviction as some areas require if you don't have an agreement like that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 360017, member: 1233"] Tell her that since she is now an adult that she MUST pay rent to continue living with you. Give her an amount. Do NOT tell her that you will make her leave if you will not. You CAN tell her that the kitchen and food will be off limits (even if you must put a chain around the fridge!) as will be the hot water and air conditioning for her room. Close the vent to her room so that the a/c does not go into there. Put a chain on the fridge. turn off the shut-off valve to the hot water in her bathroom. You can be creative. I am sure new clothes, jewelry, snacks, magazines, music, etc... are wanted. No job, no stuff. Also, tell her you will turn off the internet if she doesn't pay her rent. She wants to skype with that guy, she can get a job and earn it. Is the computer hers or the family one (ie yours)? If it is hers you cannot take it away. You can go to your router (if you have wireless) and deny access to her computer. If she is plugged into the wall for a hard-wired network system, take the cord away. If she is using your computer, put a lock on the door of the room it is in AND take the keyboard and mouse with you. Keep them in your trunk. that way if she wants to chat with that guy she MUST go get a job and pay rent. Rent doesn't have to be a lot. Just something to help her learn to be responsible. You can use the money for the house or if you want to you could put it in a savings account NOT in her name and let it grow. Then if you need to help her move or sign a lease you can use that money. Just be SURE that you put an agreement IN WRITING that says if at any time she violates your rules, steals from you, is discovered to be using drugs, or refuses to get a job then she will have 2 weeks to move out. BOTH of you sign it. TWO copies. One goes in your file. That way if at some point you are ready to throw her out then you won't have to do a formal eviction as some areas require if you don't have an agreement like that. [/QUOTE]
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