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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 650492" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi and glad you posted. Sorry your daughter is using drugs and stealing from you. I think most of us can relate. I would change my credit card numbers and other things she could use to get free money. Just be cautious. I would not let her back in the house. Most of our differently wired adult children do not live life by society's rules and very often are slow to see their wrongful thinking or else some never do. You have no reason to feel lonely unless you are focusing on only her. To me, in your signature, it looks like you have good support. You have a husband, and two other children. No offense to you AT ALL, but I never expect my grown kids to take care of me and I'm 61. You know who has to take care of you? Yourself!!!! Most of us here are working very hard to love ourselves, be good to ourselves, treat ourselves well, refuse abuse even if it comes from our own adult children, and to make a happy life for ourselves in spite of having a difficult child. </p><p></p><p>We all grieve for our difficult child, however grief has an ending. I strongly suggest you go to counseling for yourself to help work through your grief and then learn coping skills so that you can move on. You are, as many of us do, taking your daughter and blowing her up so big that she is all that is in your world. There is no room for anyone or anything else, especially you. This is not healthy for you or any of those who love you nor even your dysfunctional adult child. She needs to see you strong, not her doormat. If I were you, and I realize I'm not, I'd talk husband into counseling as well. I personally think it is not good when there is no united front. To me, if one of my children won't talk to my husband, then they can not talk to me until they cut that crapola. Not that I want to hear from dysfunctional people all that much, but I am guessing Daughter is saying things to your husband knowing he will tell you and I'm also guessing that they hurt you. This in my opinion needs to be stopped. Now. </p><p></p><p>I understand your grief as I had an adult child walk out on us and have not spoken to him in eight years and it is unlikely to change and, after all the therapy I've had, I realized he abused me terribly and meant to hurt me badly and that this is not a person, son or not, that I want to know. I count my blessings every day...those who do love and care for me, the beauty of the world, the smell of coffee in our house, my doggies who jump up and lick my face to wake me up. I enjoy my job. I like to write and volunteer and talk to people and I do that, excluding anybody who may make me feel uncomfortable. The days of allowing toxic, abusive people into my life are over. I hope you learn to do this before I did. I was 50 something before I made my life a peaceful, serene place for me to live. Make that therapy appointment and have a talk with your husband. Smile at the little things in life. They are true wonders.</p><p></p><p>Others will come along. I just didn't want you to feel ignored. Maybe read some of our current stories. You'll see a lot of familiarity. Big hugs. We are here to help and support.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 650492, member: 1550"] Hi and glad you posted. Sorry your daughter is using drugs and stealing from you. I think most of us can relate. I would change my credit card numbers and other things she could use to get free money. Just be cautious. I would not let her back in the house. Most of our differently wired adult children do not live life by society's rules and very often are slow to see their wrongful thinking or else some never do. You have no reason to feel lonely unless you are focusing on only her. To me, in your signature, it looks like you have good support. You have a husband, and two other children. No offense to you AT ALL, but I never expect my grown kids to take care of me and I'm 61. You know who has to take care of you? Yourself!!!! Most of us here are working very hard to love ourselves, be good to ourselves, treat ourselves well, refuse abuse even if it comes from our own adult children, and to make a happy life for ourselves in spite of having a difficult child. We all grieve for our difficult child, however grief has an ending. I strongly suggest you go to counseling for yourself to help work through your grief and then learn coping skills so that you can move on. You are, as many of us do, taking your daughter and blowing her up so big that she is all that is in your world. There is no room for anyone or anything else, especially you. This is not healthy for you or any of those who love you nor even your dysfunctional adult child. She needs to see you strong, not her doormat. If I were you, and I realize I'm not, I'd talk husband into counseling as well. I personally think it is not good when there is no united front. To me, if one of my children won't talk to my husband, then they can not talk to me until they cut that crapola. Not that I want to hear from dysfunctional people all that much, but I am guessing Daughter is saying things to your husband knowing he will tell you and I'm also guessing that they hurt you. This in my opinion needs to be stopped. Now. I understand your grief as I had an adult child walk out on us and have not spoken to him in eight years and it is unlikely to change and, after all the therapy I've had, I realized he abused me terribly and meant to hurt me badly and that this is not a person, son or not, that I want to know. I count my blessings every day...those who do love and care for me, the beauty of the world, the smell of coffee in our house, my doggies who jump up and lick my face to wake me up. I enjoy my job. I like to write and volunteer and talk to people and I do that, excluding anybody who may make me feel uncomfortable. The days of allowing toxic, abusive people into my life are over. I hope you learn to do this before I did. I was 50 something before I made my life a peaceful, serene place for me to live. Make that therapy appointment and have a talk with your husband. Smile at the little things in life. They are true wonders. Others will come along. I just didn't want you to feel ignored. Maybe read some of our current stories. You'll see a lot of familiarity. Big hugs. We are here to help and support. [/QUOTE]
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