I have been seeking solace in community of the forums since December. Today, I have finally found the strength to tell my story which is so similar to most parents here. My daughter, now 18, was born with a congenital heart defect so from day one she has faced many difficult health issues. I look back now and realize we have been saving her forever. Perhaps that is the cause of problem. At 16, my daughter, who had always been a home body and a mamas girl began to display uncharacteristic behavior. Loud outbursts, lack of care at school, disrespect to her parents, teacher or anyone in authority. She ran away to a friends a few months after this began, a week went by she apologized and came home. Several months later she left again. The running away was always her escape mechanism after her not getting her way. It was always to a friends house for a week or two then home. Counselors advised us to allow this running away calling it a "cooling off period". I did not agree then and I do not now. In March of last year, we discovered weed in our home in addition she had stolen credit cards and was failing school. We told her our bottom line rules were go to school and no drugs. This was not agreeable to her so she left. Two months later, she begged to come home agreeing to our conditions. She came home and it was wonderful. She was the girl I knew and loved again. I spent much of that time living in fear so afraid it would end badly. In October, I just felt something was off and my mothers instinct was on high alert. I was shocked that again my credit cards had been used again! A searched the car revealed a pipe and several bags of weed. That night she came to our home in a screaming rage to get back her weed and pipe. She proceeded to trash my house looking for it. I called 911. Police did not show up but she was long gone anyway. A month later she asked for her clothes which we packed up and allowed her to come to our door and take it. I was not home at the time as I was and still am fearful of her. Months have gone by with our contact being minimal. She tells us how great she is doing! How she is going to school and going to graduate but we know these are lies. At this point, I believe nothing that comes out of her mouth. Her dad believes most of what she tells him so she confides in him not me. I have not heard from her for weeks but yesterday and today she called crabbing about her braces and dentist. I simply said what would you like me to do? Which I think will be my standard answer for most everything with her. I am trying so hard to detach and find peace in that! Each day gets a little better for the most part. I find great solace in the forum to know I am not alone. Most days for me are lonely and i feel stuck in a grief I have no reprieve from.