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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 197956" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Witz, </p><p> </p><p>I think to some degree, at some point in time during stressful events, most of us have had thoughts like you're having. For me they have just been thoughts. I think too, like Marcie "Who would I hurt?" and in the end I have to say "Myself." </p><p> </p><p>I've had enough people abuse me in my life. I've done my level best to rise above it, get therapy, find humor or be slightly sarcastic about some situations to survive. </p><p> </p><p>Smoking is not the answer if it's going to kill you. You are precious and we need you - as healthy as you can be. </p><p> </p><p>I guess when I feel myself getting like this or going into a deep depression I do my best to find other things to occupy my time. It's not easy. Depression is a whole lot easier to accept for me than finding a silver lining. Depression doesn't require a lot of work - just go to sleep, feel hopeless and let go. Finding a silver lining means getting myself up, out and active.....and there are days that I just do not want to be perky, cheerful, happy, or caring. I'd rather be miserable and cranky - and irritable, and lash out, and hurtful. I am human, I do hurt, I am occasionally fighting sickness and until cheerful became my habit? Cranky was easier. </p><p> </p><p>But when I get like that? I'd rather be alone to work things out. I don't know what you need to allow yourself to work it out - but you should work towards that goal and allow yourself time. Time to accept being how you are at that moment. And I think we DO overcome, more than we realize....especially with our kids and our health - so when something like this comes over us - it really rains down and we feel like we're drowning instead of looking for a lifejacket and rescue boat. We've gotten so accustomed to picking OURSELVES up - when we get to the next level of depression and it takes us a while longer to work things out - and while we're working it out....we can get like you are now. </p><p> </p><p>As far as smoking and really wanting one? Go get some Tootsie Roll lollipops. That will help with the hand to mouth habit. Also natural licorice root helps with the hand to mouth, but the taste in between your lips on your tongue is VERY similar to a cigarettes taste. It's a little spendy at health food stores....but worth it. And lastly - Google things like Cancerous lungs, or the Amercian Cancer Society web site for pictures of people who have died from cigarettes. My father was one of them. It makes me angry to this day to think that his generation was encourage to smoke even though later in life the precautions were out. I miss him. </p><p> </p><p>I don't want to have to write here - I miss her. </p><p> </p><p>Get me kiddo? </p><p> </p><p>Hugs - </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 197956, member: 4964"] Witz, I think to some degree, at some point in time during stressful events, most of us have had thoughts like you're having. For me they have just been thoughts. I think too, like Marcie "Who would I hurt?" and in the end I have to say "Myself." I've had enough people abuse me in my life. I've done my level best to rise above it, get therapy, find humor or be slightly sarcastic about some situations to survive. Smoking is not the answer if it's going to kill you. You are precious and we need you - as healthy as you can be. I guess when I feel myself getting like this or going into a deep depression I do my best to find other things to occupy my time. It's not easy. Depression is a whole lot easier to accept for me than finding a silver lining. Depression doesn't require a lot of work - just go to sleep, feel hopeless and let go. Finding a silver lining means getting myself up, out and active.....and there are days that I just do not want to be perky, cheerful, happy, or caring. I'd rather be miserable and cranky - and irritable, and lash out, and hurtful. I am human, I do hurt, I am occasionally fighting sickness and until cheerful became my habit? Cranky was easier. But when I get like that? I'd rather be alone to work things out. I don't know what you need to allow yourself to work it out - but you should work towards that goal and allow yourself time. Time to accept being how you are at that moment. And I think we DO overcome, more than we realize....especially with our kids and our health - so when something like this comes over us - it really rains down and we feel like we're drowning instead of looking for a lifejacket and rescue boat. We've gotten so accustomed to picking OURSELVES up - when we get to the next level of depression and it takes us a while longer to work things out - and while we're working it out....we can get like you are now. As far as smoking and really wanting one? Go get some Tootsie Roll lollipops. That will help with the hand to mouth habit. Also natural licorice root helps with the hand to mouth, but the taste in between your lips on your tongue is VERY similar to a cigarettes taste. It's a little spendy at health food stores....but worth it. And lastly - Google things like Cancerous lungs, or the Amercian Cancer Society web site for pictures of people who have died from cigarettes. My father was one of them. It makes me angry to this day to think that his generation was encourage to smoke even though later in life the precautions were out. I miss him. I don't want to have to write here - I miss her. Get me kiddo? Hugs - Star [/QUOTE]
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