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The Watercooler
selling my soul for them- should I?
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 123600" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>{{hugs}} What a difficult situation. </p><p> </p><p>If I were you and I was thinking that I may later have regrets about not simply sucking it up and seeing them, I think I would make a plan to meet for lunch or something with a definite beginning and ending, so there is a time limit in place beforehand. </p><p> </p><p>However, if you really and truly, in your heart, do not feel the need to see them, but you do want your kiddos to see them, then I would ask H to meet with them in your place. It can be a nice grandparent/grandchild visit and that's it. Or, perhaps you and H can drop the kiddos off with grandparents and go off by yourselves for an hour or so and then return to pick them up. We did that once with my exmil and my kids. H and I stopped over, chatted for a few minutes and left the girls there for the afternoon and went off to do our own thing. Picked them up just after dinner and everyone was happy. </p><p> </p><p>I do not think that you should allow your father to guilt you into this. You're an adult and you've created some healthy boundaries for yourself under very difficult circumstances. It is difficult to tell you what you should do because only you know the damages you've suffered from the abuse and whether or not you can tolerate an afternoon in your mother's presence. </p><p> </p><p>I will pray that you find the answer for yourself, one you can live with.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 123600, member: 2211"] {{hugs}} What a difficult situation. If I were you and I was thinking that I may later have regrets about not simply sucking it up and seeing them, I think I would make a plan to meet for lunch or something with a definite beginning and ending, so there is a time limit in place beforehand. However, if you really and truly, in your heart, do not feel the need to see them, but you do want your kiddos to see them, then I would ask H to meet with them in your place. It can be a nice grandparent/grandchild visit and that's it. Or, perhaps you and H can drop the kiddos off with grandparents and go off by yourselves for an hour or so and then return to pick them up. We did that once with my exmil and my kids. H and I stopped over, chatted for a few minutes and left the girls there for the afternoon and went off to do our own thing. Picked them up just after dinner and everyone was happy. I do not think that you should allow your father to guilt you into this. You're an adult and you've created some healthy boundaries for yourself under very difficult circumstances. It is difficult to tell you what you should do because only you know the damages you've suffered from the abuse and whether or not you can tolerate an afternoon in your mother's presence. I will pray that you find the answer for yourself, one you can live with. [/QUOTE]
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selling my soul for them- should I?
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