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selling my soul for them- should I?
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<blockquote data-quote="daralex" data-source="post: 123602" data-attributes="member: 4467"><p>Oy Vey! I don't know where to begin! I also have no contact with mom & dad as i feel they are toxic to me and everyone else they touch. I stopped my difficult child from seeing them when she was about 7-ish becuase of toxic things I saw happeneing (like having my mom forcing difficult child to call her mom!) I never prevented phone or written coontact, but over the years difficult child sees what I did in my parenst and does not want contact with them. I am moving in a few months to where they live (my brother is still there, he's the only one I speak to) We will be staying with him until we get settled into our own place and am horrified at the thought of having contact with the parents and will avoid it at all costs - but enough about me!</p><p> </p><p>Your husband is not understanding that this is your family and you need to deal with it the way you see fit. Why are you going to disney if no one else is into it? setting yourself up for failure is no fun. If your parents were toxic to you, then they are toxic to all children (in my humble opinion) the fact that your brother is "missing" should be testament enough that things were not great. It all comes down to what you can live with. If you never see the parents (either on of them) again - would it be hurtful to you? Do you want to purposely put you and the kids in an unhealthy situation? Are you helping or harming by not allowing contact. I have explained to my difficult child that grandmas is not quite right and although she has her faults she's still grandma. I left the decision up to her. If your difficult child's have a desire to see them than maybe they need to learn first hand why there hasn't been contact. (we went through that with difficult child's bio dad's family and she learned within one visit why we don't see them either!) It's a tough call, but you have to do what you feel is tight for you and the kids - not for ANYONE else - you are the only one that will have to live with that decision. So sorry you're having to deal with this. Keep us posted!!!!</p><p>-Dara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="daralex, post: 123602, member: 4467"] Oy Vey! I don't know where to begin! I also have no contact with mom & dad as i feel they are toxic to me and everyone else they touch. I stopped my difficult child from seeing them when she was about 7-ish becuase of toxic things I saw happeneing (like having my mom forcing difficult child to call her mom!) I never prevented phone or written coontact, but over the years difficult child sees what I did in my parenst and does not want contact with them. I am moving in a few months to where they live (my brother is still there, he's the only one I speak to) We will be staying with him until we get settled into our own place and am horrified at the thought of having contact with the parents and will avoid it at all costs - but enough about me! Your husband is not understanding that this is your family and you need to deal with it the way you see fit. Why are you going to disney if no one else is into it? setting yourself up for failure is no fun. If your parents were toxic to you, then they are toxic to all children (in my humble opinion) the fact that your brother is "missing" should be testament enough that things were not great. It all comes down to what you can live with. If you never see the parents (either on of them) again - would it be hurtful to you? Do you want to purposely put you and the kids in an unhealthy situation? Are you helping or harming by not allowing contact. I have explained to my difficult child that grandmas is not quite right and although she has her faults she's still grandma. I left the decision up to her. If your difficult child's have a desire to see them than maybe they need to learn first hand why there hasn't been contact. (we went through that with difficult child's bio dad's family and she learned within one visit why we don't see them either!) It's a tough call, but you have to do what you feel is tight for you and the kids - not for ANYONE else - you are the only one that will have to live with that decision. So sorry you're having to deal with this. Keep us posted!!!! -Dara [/QUOTE]
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selling my soul for them- should I?
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