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Parent Emeritus
serious problem with 19 y/o difficult child what to do?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 573350" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I will pray for you and your family. I know how hard this is on you and your husband, the parents always take such a hit in the heart when we have to have our kids leave our home. Get all your ducks in order as to exactly how you are going to approach it, know your states laws about eviction, know what you can do about the theft and the drugs and a restraining order too. As Nancy said, call the police and find out exactly what you CAN do. So when you are confronted with his bad behavior and reactions to your eviction, you will stand strong and be united with your husband against his railing and emotional outbursts, should that happen. </p><p></p><p>If he is staying for 30 days, map out very clearly what you expect, and what the consequences will be if he disrespects your rules and guide-lines because if he is to stay, he may be angry and take it out on you and your home, so be VERY clear about calling the cops in, getting a restraining order, etc. and if he steps over your boundaries you must make the consequences happen or he will not believe you are serious and his behavior will likely escalate. </p><p></p><p>These scenarios are almost always about boundary setting and natural consequences to overstepping those boundaries, which he has not respected in your home and you have allowed, so now it is the moment of truth and you have to be strong and stand by what you say, you have to keep your word with the consequences or all of this will have been for naught. It's hard too, no doubt about it, but you have to keep asking yourself,<em> do I want to continue to live like this? </em> </p><p></p><p>Sending you gentle hugs, wishes for as peaceful a transition as can happen and prayers that you stay strong and resolved and find peace. I'll be thinking about you tomorrow...............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 573350, member: 13542"] I will pray for you and your family. I know how hard this is on you and your husband, the parents always take such a hit in the heart when we have to have our kids leave our home. Get all your ducks in order as to exactly how you are going to approach it, know your states laws about eviction, know what you can do about the theft and the drugs and a restraining order too. As Nancy said, call the police and find out exactly what you CAN do. So when you are confronted with his bad behavior and reactions to your eviction, you will stand strong and be united with your husband against his railing and emotional outbursts, should that happen. If he is staying for 30 days, map out very clearly what you expect, and what the consequences will be if he disrespects your rules and guide-lines because if he is to stay, he may be angry and take it out on you and your home, so be VERY clear about calling the cops in, getting a restraining order, etc. and if he steps over your boundaries you must make the consequences happen or he will not believe you are serious and his behavior will likely escalate. These scenarios are almost always about boundary setting and natural consequences to overstepping those boundaries, which he has not respected in your home and you have allowed, so now it is the moment of truth and you have to be strong and stand by what you say, you have to keep your word with the consequences or all of this will have been for naught. It's hard too, no doubt about it, but you have to keep asking yourself,[I] do I want to continue to live like this? [/I] Sending you gentle hugs, wishes for as peaceful a transition as can happen and prayers that you stay strong and resolved and find peace. I'll be thinking about you tomorrow............... [/QUOTE]
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serious problem with 19 y/o difficult child what to do?
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