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Substance Abuse
Setting boundaries
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<blockquote data-quote="Ironbutterfly" data-source="post: 678170" data-attributes="member: 19951"><p>I read an article on enabling adult children and one example was an adult child in jail and what should the parent(s) do. Some load up their commissary account so they can buy extra food, hygiene products, some fund their phone account so they can call certain people. This man said not to do any of that. He said, let them sit and feel the pain of being in jail. Let them feel the loss of your conversation. Let them feel the loss of no extra food. Jail is suppose to be a major time out to think about how you got yourself here and if you want to change your life, how will you do that. If we as parents make it comfortable, then they won't feel the pain. </p><p></p><p>Of course, I read this after I funded the phone account and put money in his commissary fund. But I know now, what to do should he find himself in jail again.</p><p></p><p>Take his call when you feel you are emotionally, mentally up to it. He cussed you out last time. So, let him sit and think about the disrespect he gave you. Hard not to feel guilty, but one thing for sure, they know we feel guilty and will rescue them in little ways.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ironbutterfly, post: 678170, member: 19951"] I read an article on enabling adult children and one example was an adult child in jail and what should the parent(s) do. Some load up their commissary account so they can buy extra food, hygiene products, some fund their phone account so they can call certain people. This man said not to do any of that. He said, let them sit and feel the pain of being in jail. Let them feel the loss of your conversation. Let them feel the loss of no extra food. Jail is suppose to be a major time out to think about how you got yourself here and if you want to change your life, how will you do that. If we as parents make it comfortable, then they won't feel the pain. Of course, I read this after I funded the phone account and put money in his commissary fund. But I know now, what to do should he find himself in jail again. Take his call when you feel you are emotionally, mentally up to it. He cussed you out last time. So, let him sit and think about the disrespect he gave you. Hard not to feel guilty, but one thing for sure, they know we feel guilty and will rescue them in little ways. [/QUOTE]
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