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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 682210" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>DM, you should not feel at fault, I know, I know, it is hard when we roll back the tapes and remember, the what ifs. Retrospect is so wise, but it is impossible to go back, we live, we struggle, we learn.</p><p></p><p>It is not possible to keep a child at home who is going off the rails and endangering everyone else within, not possible, <em>completely unacceptable</em>. Especially when there are younger ones watching from the wings. The horror becomes theirs, too, and that is<em> most unacceptable</em>.</p><p></p><p>Yes, it is choice, from pot, to drinking, to meth. Then meth makes the choices for them. Though it is hard, it is good for me to read former meth users stories. It helps me to understand that as my Rain goes through whatever,<em> I must not go down that path with her.</em></p><p></p><p>They do not see us as people anymore as the drugs take over their minds and their lifestyles.</p><p></p><p>I must tell you that we tried every way to help. It didn't matter. It prolonged the misery, ours and Rains. It was as if she jumped into the quicksand, then held her hand out, we grabbed it, <em>and she pulled us in.</em>......then we all thrashed about for awhile.</p><p>It was insane.</p><p>We slowly pulled ourselves out and called to her, in a manner of speaking........but she stayed, and there she remains. As you say, and I have said, for now.........</p><p></p><p>They do adapt, and you are right, we must adapt. Each time I sink into despair, I linger a little less longer. It is learning. Turning the yearning for her to wake up, and the desperation of her situation, into faith that she will wake up, one day. For the origin of despair, the meaning is -without hope.</p><p>I do not want to walk this journey without hope.</p><p></p><p>So, I will have to build hope and faith into my shield again.</p><p>Go back to my toolbox, <em>my armory</em> and find what I need to strengthen myself. For I do no one any good, weakened and beat down.</p><p></p><p>I will be okay, and so will you DM. No, no, <em>KNOW </em>that none of this is your fault<em>. </em>It is free will and choices at work here. They chose, and we chose that their choices were unacceptable in our homes. We did what we had to, to maintain peace in our sanctuaries. </p><p></p><p>We did what had to be. </p><p></p><p>It was hard, <em>but we did it for a very good reason. </em></p><p></p><p>The rest, was and is up to our d cs to figure out what their path is.</p><p>For now.</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 682210, member: 19522"] DM, you should not feel at fault, I know, I know, it is hard when we roll back the tapes and remember, the what ifs. Retrospect is so wise, but it is impossible to go back, we live, we struggle, we learn. It is not possible to keep a child at home who is going off the rails and endangering everyone else within, not possible, [I]completely unacceptable[/I]. Especially when there are younger ones watching from the wings. The horror becomes theirs, too, and that is[I] most unacceptable[/I]. Yes, it is choice, from pot, to drinking, to meth. Then meth makes the choices for them. Though it is hard, it is good for me to read former meth users stories. It helps me to understand that as my Rain goes through whatever,[I] I must not go down that path with her.[/I] They do not see us as people anymore as the drugs take over their minds and their lifestyles. I must tell you that we tried every way to help. It didn't matter. It prolonged the misery, ours and Rains. It was as if she jumped into the quicksand, then held her hand out, we grabbed it, [I]and she pulled us in.[/I]......then we all thrashed about for awhile. It was insane. We slowly pulled ourselves out and called to her, in a manner of speaking........but she stayed, and there she remains. As you say, and I have said, for now......... They do adapt, and you are right, we must adapt. Each time I sink into despair, I linger a little less longer. It is learning. Turning the yearning for her to wake up, and the desperation of her situation, into faith that she will wake up, one day. For the origin of despair, the meaning is -without hope. I do not want to walk this journey without hope. So, I will have to build hope and faith into my shield again. Go back to my toolbox, [I]my armory[/I] and find what I need to strengthen myself. For I do no one any good, weakened and beat down. I will be okay, and so will you DM. No, no, [I]KNOW [/I]that none of this is your fault[I]. [/I]It is free will and choices at work here. They chose, and we chose that their choices were unacceptable in our homes. We did what we had to, to maintain peace in our sanctuaries. We did what had to be. It was hard, [I]but we did it for a very good reason. [/I] The rest, was and is up to our d cs to figure out what their path is. For now. (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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