She doesn't like it, but ....

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by meowbunny, Jan 24, 2008.

  1. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    According to my daughter, she hates being a tenant. She wants to be able to have her door open. She can't afford to buy her hygiene and food. She needs access to my car, at least occasionally. So, I've told her all she has to do is do the chores on schedule for two weeks. She'll tell me she'll start tomorrow. As we all know, tomorrow never comes.

    I'm actually laughing to myself through all of this. I don't have to adjust my car seat. If she leaves clutter laying around, I toss it -- she can pull her helmet, etc, out of the trash and hope I haven't dumped coffee grounds on top of it. Amazing how her things now end up in her room. I toss her trash into her room. She can pick it up or not.

    I HAVE A CLEAN HOUSE! Things don't get done as quickly as I'd like because it is winter and my arthritis is in full-blown mode, so Christmas boxes get moved a little at a time. But I dust and vac as needed and it makes me feel so much better. More importatly, no more nagging, no more arguing.

    We still talk about our days when she's working, so I feel I still have a daughter. She's not convinced she has a mother, though. Oh, well.
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

  3. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member

    Good Job!!!!!!!! :bravo: Sounds like you have a handle on it. :thumbsup: Loved the "Coffee grounds on the Helmet" part. Cracked me up. :rofl:

    Amazing what they realize when we stop doing everything for them isn't it? Sure took me some time to come to that point... even now I can fall into it very easy... but I catch myself much quicker.

    Enjoy the peace and perhaps your relationship will go to a new level now. :D

  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I love this. :yourock::you_go_girl:

    I don't mind doing laundry anymore now that I am only doing mine and H's! And difficult child doesn't have near as much as I used to wash (because only she knows what's clean and dirty on her floor!).

    Yeah for you!
  5. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    I love it when "LIFE" finally smacks them in the won't always be there to clean up and life means being a tenant on your own.....good practice for her facing the real world.

  6. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Way to go, MB! You'll have to let us know tomorrow if tomorrow came.

    Is almost-13 too young to start this? :embarrassed:I say this as I stare at the sink full of difficult child's dirty dishes that I asked her 4 times yesterday to put into the dishwasher. And her knitting on the living room floor. And her coat lying across the dining room table. And 3 pairs of her shoes in the kitchen....
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911


    She HAS a Mother - she no longer has a slave.....

    You HAS a clean house - she no longer has un-Merry Maid....

    You HAS a car with everything where you left it.....she no longer is Driving Miss Daisy

    You HAS put da coffee grounds in her helmet.....I think she's lucky you didn't add water and a booger

    You HAS thrown the trash in her room - she no longer has room-side pick up of refuse.

    Please don't tell me you are supplying garbage bags - she must get her own.

  8. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Star, I don't mind supplying plastic bags -- we have enough from the grocery store. Heck, I'd even let her have a nice black one or two but that would mean she'd have to pick up the trash in her room. rofl

    Heather -- Tomorrow may come but not this week. Yesterday was her day off and she's always going to "start" being part of the family on her day off. At 13, you can't make her a tenant but you can throw her stuff away if she leaves it out 24 hours. I did. As you can tell, it made not a dent. I never minded the stacked the dishes so long as they were rinsed -- I can load a dishwasher to hold 3 times the average load. She can load so that 5 dishes fills it. But if she doesn't rinse the dishes, they get put on her bed. If food falls off and onto her sheets, oh well, not my problem. And that's been a rule since she was 10.

    And thanks you all. The cheers are appreciated.
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    You sound like you have it pretty well worked out!

    The helmet in the trash and the food on the sheets reminds my of my own teen life.

    My mom did pretty much what you do, even starting at an early age.


  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    You go girl!!!

    I am so glad it's working and you're reclaiming your house and your life.

  11. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It sounds like it is working. Stay the course. :bravo: