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Substance Abuse
She got fired.
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 521436" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>I was texting from my phone earlier and had to give short replies. </p><p></p><p>In more depth . . . the next job interview is not until the 13th. difficult child already put in an application last Sunday. She put down where she was currently working and that they could call for a reference.</p><p></p><p>When she got home and told me that, I told her that she shouldn't have said they could call. So we drafted an email and sent it saying that is was nice to meet the owner and that she would prefer that they did not call the current employer because she didn't want them to get upset.</p><p></p><p>The lady wrote back not to worry. She said they would not call the current employer until she accepted a position with them. So it sounds like she will call if she decides to give difficult child the job. I guess difficult child will just have to hope that they don't follow through.</p><p></p><p>In the future, I told difficult child not to put this job down as a part of her resume. It was only three weeks so it really won't matter.</p><p></p><p>As far as the rest of your replies, I really appreciate your heartfelt responses. I truly don't know what we are going to do. I really think she needs help with the mental illness or this will always be her life. I'm not even sure that sobriety will help if she still can't control her emotions and mood swings. I keep coming back to DBT and wishing she had stuck with it before. She mentioned it again today but I am afraid it is just a ploy. I asked her if she was willing to put in the $770 from this job (last check and what she gets as her last check) towards the DBT. That would take her through the rest of this month and we could see if she means it.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, I told her that she is getting up in the morning at 8:30, getting dressed and then she and I would drive from salon to salon to salon dropping off resumes. I told her that we would do that all week. She agreed.</p><p></p><p>Yes, another vacation ruined for me. It would be so much easier to kick her out if she had a job and some means to support herself. If she is not serious about the DBT, I guess she will have the $770 to live on until she finds a job.</p><p></p><p>The sad part is that she is sober here. Just like before . . . only it only lasts for a couple of months and then she does something stupid. I asked her how long the sobriety was after rehab and she answered 97 days.</p><p></p><p>husband and I still haven't had a chance to talk this through alone. I don't know where he stands. Nancy, I did discuss with her the possibility of going to a much more restrictive sober house. She didn't say no but I don't think she will be willing to go. The $770 would also pay for the first month there.</p><p></p><p>I know that I am rambling. All sorts of things are going through my head right now. I keep coming back to the underlying mental illness. If drinking and using drugs was a result of cancer, wouldn't you try to fix the cancer or would you tell them that they had to get sober first and then you would try to fix the cancer.</p><p></p><p>I guess it is not a good analogy. Bear with me while I am trying to figure this out. I do think that she really wanted to be successful at this job and that there is some truth to the crazy boss angle. I remember her telling me on the first day about him warning her not to get friendly with the stylists and I remember one night when I accidentally called difficult child's work number and hung up when the owner/manager answered and then told her what I did, she got frantic and told me to call him back and identify myself and apologize because "you don't know how he is. . . he'll be paranoid that he missed a client's call." </p><p></p><p>So unless she was painting this portrait from the start as some big charade in case she got fired, I do think part of this is not difficult child's fault. And she showed me the slip of paper where she had written down the Department of Labor guy's phone number when he called earlier this week due to a complaint from the previous receptionist. </p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 521436, member: 1967"] I was texting from my phone earlier and had to give short replies. In more depth . . . the next job interview is not until the 13th. difficult child already put in an application last Sunday. She put down where she was currently working and that they could call for a reference. When she got home and told me that, I told her that she shouldn't have said they could call. So we drafted an email and sent it saying that is was nice to meet the owner and that she would prefer that they did not call the current employer because she didn't want them to get upset. The lady wrote back not to worry. She said they would not call the current employer until she accepted a position with them. So it sounds like she will call if she decides to give difficult child the job. I guess difficult child will just have to hope that they don't follow through. In the future, I told difficult child not to put this job down as a part of her resume. It was only three weeks so it really won't matter. As far as the rest of your replies, I really appreciate your heartfelt responses. I truly don't know what we are going to do. I really think she needs help with the mental illness or this will always be her life. I'm not even sure that sobriety will help if she still can't control her emotions and mood swings. I keep coming back to DBT and wishing she had stuck with it before. She mentioned it again today but I am afraid it is just a ploy. I asked her if she was willing to put in the $770 from this job (last check and what she gets as her last check) towards the DBT. That would take her through the rest of this month and we could see if she means it. In the meantime, I told her that she is getting up in the morning at 8:30, getting dressed and then she and I would drive from salon to salon to salon dropping off resumes. I told her that we would do that all week. She agreed. Yes, another vacation ruined for me. It would be so much easier to kick her out if she had a job and some means to support herself. If she is not serious about the DBT, I guess she will have the $770 to live on until she finds a job. The sad part is that she is sober here. Just like before . . . only it only lasts for a couple of months and then she does something stupid. I asked her how long the sobriety was after rehab and she answered 97 days. husband and I still haven't had a chance to talk this through alone. I don't know where he stands. Nancy, I did discuss with her the possibility of going to a much more restrictive sober house. She didn't say no but I don't think she will be willing to go. The $770 would also pay for the first month there. I know that I am rambling. All sorts of things are going through my head right now. I keep coming back to the underlying mental illness. If drinking and using drugs was a result of cancer, wouldn't you try to fix the cancer or would you tell them that they had to get sober first and then you would try to fix the cancer. I guess it is not a good analogy. Bear with me while I am trying to figure this out. I do think that she really wanted to be successful at this job and that there is some truth to the crazy boss angle. I remember her telling me on the first day about him warning her not to get friendly with the stylists and I remember one night when I accidentally called difficult child's work number and hung up when the owner/manager answered and then told her what I did, she got frantic and told me to call him back and identify myself and apologize because "you don't know how he is. . . he'll be paranoid that he missed a client's call." So unless she was painting this portrait from the start as some big charade in case she got fired, I do think part of this is not difficult child's fault. And she showed me the slip of paper where she had written down the Department of Labor guy's phone number when he called earlier this week due to a complaint from the previous receptionist. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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