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Substance Abuse
She got fired.
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 521889" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Kathy, I have been thinking over your posts about the emotional outcry and tears from difficult child the other day. of course I wasn't there and I could attribute it to manipulation, sincerity, being high, seeing the light, or being abducted by aliens. It would be really easy to persist in the "how many times did she con you/ how often did you say she couldn't live with you? how many times are you going to not follow through or be consistent?" line of thinking/questioning.</p><p></p><p>I am sure you know that i am pretty strong on the side of follow through and not getting burned again esp by an adult difficult child. i just don't know that it is the best in this situation.</p><p></p><p>When you and Sig posted about the sincere tears and seeing a glimpse of the real, deep-down-under-the-koi child you love, it made me think.</p><p></p><p>One thing I believe in FAR FAR FAR more than doing what you say/being consistent is the awesome power of a mom's intuition. A few months before my brother's alcoholic felony spree, my mother was really really upset and she watned to insist he leave. His pattern for many years was to work in a national forest from the spring until Christmas and then go to my parents for Christmas until he decided to go back to his 'home'. My mom was seeing no future in this pattern and he was in his mid 30s, time to start a life. She was even more tired of a kid who came home for MONTHS on vacation each year, and nOt because he was wildly successful. He is a terribly inconsiderate houseguest if you are his immediate family, and his drinking/staying out was more and more disruptive. She was very ready to tell him to LEAVE in the next 48 hrs according to the deadline she set several weeks before and then she got a really bad feeling. He had been very depressed over a girl situation and my mom didn't know everything. She just got this feeling that if seh kicked him out he would hurt himself. My mom's intuition is surprisingly accurate. She talked it over with a friend and then called me (I didn't live in state and did have contact with bro then) to see what I knew. I told her the rest of the girl story (she had called me and he totaly did not read the situation right. </p><p></p><p>My mom and I, and even my husband, think that if my mom had followed with the deadline the results would have been awful, at the minimum a suicide attempt. As it was just a couple of weeks later he had his legal problems and he hit his bottom and then things were able to start looking up.</p><p></p><p>I don't know the entire situation with your family. i don't know what your adult child needs, or if she is playng you. i do know that you are a really great mom and that your instincts on the situation are what should be trusted. please follow your instincts even if it means that you are not consistent this time or that you change the plan and how long/if she can stay with you.</p><p></p><p>it isn't easy to know what is rght, but if you follow your instincts, then you will get the most right option for your family.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 521889, member: 1233"] Kathy, I have been thinking over your posts about the emotional outcry and tears from difficult child the other day. of course I wasn't there and I could attribute it to manipulation, sincerity, being high, seeing the light, or being abducted by aliens. It would be really easy to persist in the "how many times did she con you/ how often did you say she couldn't live with you? how many times are you going to not follow through or be consistent?" line of thinking/questioning. I am sure you know that i am pretty strong on the side of follow through and not getting burned again esp by an adult difficult child. i just don't know that it is the best in this situation. When you and Sig posted about the sincere tears and seeing a glimpse of the real, deep-down-under-the-koi child you love, it made me think. One thing I believe in FAR FAR FAR more than doing what you say/being consistent is the awesome power of a mom's intuition. A few months before my brother's alcoholic felony spree, my mother was really really upset and she watned to insist he leave. His pattern for many years was to work in a national forest from the spring until Christmas and then go to my parents for Christmas until he decided to go back to his 'home'. My mom was seeing no future in this pattern and he was in his mid 30s, time to start a life. She was even more tired of a kid who came home for MONTHS on vacation each year, and nOt because he was wildly successful. He is a terribly inconsiderate houseguest if you are his immediate family, and his drinking/staying out was more and more disruptive. She was very ready to tell him to LEAVE in the next 48 hrs according to the deadline she set several weeks before and then she got a really bad feeling. He had been very depressed over a girl situation and my mom didn't know everything. She just got this feeling that if seh kicked him out he would hurt himself. My mom's intuition is surprisingly accurate. She talked it over with a friend and then called me (I didn't live in state and did have contact with bro then) to see what I knew. I told her the rest of the girl story (she had called me and he totaly did not read the situation right. My mom and I, and even my husband, think that if my mom had followed with the deadline the results would have been awful, at the minimum a suicide attempt. As it was just a couple of weeks later he had his legal problems and he hit his bottom and then things were able to start looking up. I don't know the entire situation with your family. i don't know what your adult child needs, or if she is playng you. i do know that you are a really great mom and that your instincts on the situation are what should be trusted. please follow your instincts even if it means that you are not consistent this time or that you change the plan and how long/if she can stay with you. it isn't easy to know what is rght, but if you follow your instincts, then you will get the most right option for your family. [/QUOTE]
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