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General Parenting
She stole $13,000
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 704202" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>If I were you I would first look to protect my JOB. Knowing about this and not acting could maybe put it in danger? I don't know, but you need to first protect yourself. NOT to rat her out or anything, but if you are not cared for, you cannot care for her or anyone else. You also need to think LONG and HARD about the type of woman who would do this. And look into how she handles it from here.</p><p></p><p>I would encourage her to go and speak honestly to her mom. If her mom needs the money now, then daughter better start having the yard sale to end all yard sales, all her consumer goods better go on Craigslist to get that $$ back - with Christmas in a few weeks the time is right now rather than next month when prices will be much lower. If her mom is willing to wait, then the second job needs to start NOW. Even if it is only a few hours a week, SOMETHING needs to start now. And ALL spending needs to stop unless it is for the most very basic items. SHe needs to learn to be frugal even if she hates it. </p><p></p><p>IF she won't go to her mom and be honest and apologetic and remorseful, literally groveling, then something is going on. If she has done this before and her mom won't forgive her and let her work to pay it back, or sell her things to pay it back, then mom has the right to have her arrested and you may have to do it. Likely another officer will, but her mom has that right. If you want to help her through this, that is your call. </p><p></p><p>This will devastate her mom. Please make sure you let them both know you support the mom in her feelings, whatever they are. The daughter is so far out of line that it is incredible. I would suggest that the daughter get this over as soon as possible and be prepared for the worst. There may not be time, and she may not have enough stuff to liquidate to get her mother the money as soon as she needs it. PLEASE do NOT give your girlfriend the money to give to her mother. This is NOT your debt and your girlfriend NEEDS to experience these consequences to learn this lesson. She NEEDS this. BADLY. Or she WILL do it again, even bigger. You don't want to have been there, done that, and gotten the ugly tshirt.</p><p></p><p>The two of you need some therapy and financial counseling together.This will tear you apart as a couple faster than anything else. Check every joint anything that you have with her. One of the only times I EVER used the word divorce in a discussion with my husband was after finding a bunch of credit cards I didn't know he had. We got credit counseling, which I recommend for your girlfriend. Check with the BBB for a reputable agency because the bad ones are REALLY bad. Our company is out of business or I would give you the name. They were excellent. They negotiated lower payments not only monthly, but as a whole. They also got creditors to stop calling, got one company to see that we really had paid them off years before and didn't owe them anything, and taught my husband how to stick to a budget. I had been trying to do these things, but he would get a credit card and go out and just buy whatever was cool or shiny that broke before it got home. It drove me crazy. I think it was the sixth time in ten years I found new credit cards that were maxed out when I said this is the LAST time, or I am gone, done, over. We are at 25 years now, so he learned.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 704202, member: 1233"] If I were you I would first look to protect my JOB. Knowing about this and not acting could maybe put it in danger? I don't know, but you need to first protect yourself. NOT to rat her out or anything, but if you are not cared for, you cannot care for her or anyone else. You also need to think LONG and HARD about the type of woman who would do this. And look into how she handles it from here. I would encourage her to go and speak honestly to her mom. If her mom needs the money now, then daughter better start having the yard sale to end all yard sales, all her consumer goods better go on Craigslist to get that $$ back - with Christmas in a few weeks the time is right now rather than next month when prices will be much lower. If her mom is willing to wait, then the second job needs to start NOW. Even if it is only a few hours a week, SOMETHING needs to start now. And ALL spending needs to stop unless it is for the most very basic items. SHe needs to learn to be frugal even if she hates it. IF she won't go to her mom and be honest and apologetic and remorseful, literally groveling, then something is going on. If she has done this before and her mom won't forgive her and let her work to pay it back, or sell her things to pay it back, then mom has the right to have her arrested and you may have to do it. Likely another officer will, but her mom has that right. If you want to help her through this, that is your call. This will devastate her mom. Please make sure you let them both know you support the mom in her feelings, whatever they are. The daughter is so far out of line that it is incredible. I would suggest that the daughter get this over as soon as possible and be prepared for the worst. There may not be time, and she may not have enough stuff to liquidate to get her mother the money as soon as she needs it. PLEASE do NOT give your girlfriend the money to give to her mother. This is NOT your debt and your girlfriend NEEDS to experience these consequences to learn this lesson. She NEEDS this. BADLY. Or she WILL do it again, even bigger. You don't want to have been there, done that, and gotten the ugly tshirt. The two of you need some therapy and financial counseling together.This will tear you apart as a couple faster than anything else. Check every joint anything that you have with her. One of the only times I EVER used the word divorce in a discussion with my husband was after finding a bunch of credit cards I didn't know he had. We got credit counseling, which I recommend for your girlfriend. Check with the BBB for a reputable agency because the bad ones are REALLY bad. Our company is out of business or I would give you the name. They were excellent. They negotiated lower payments not only monthly, but as a whole. They also got creditors to stop calling, got one company to see that we really had paid them off years before and didn't owe them anything, and taught my husband how to stick to a budget. I had been trying to do these things, but he would get a credit card and go out and just buy whatever was cool or shiny that broke before it got home. It drove me crazy. I think it was the sixth time in ten years I found new credit cards that were maxed out when I said this is the LAST time, or I am gone, done, over. We are at 25 years now, so he learned. [/QUOTE]
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She stole $13,000
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